As a recovering PA, what advice would you give to someone who is trying to quit?

[dave]

Here's what worked for me.

- I disclosed to one trusted friend. It is often said we are only as sick as our secrets.
- I attend SAA - that has been a great help
- I found a counsellor through an SAA person. This has made an even greater difference.
- I check in on this site almost every day - see my number of posts under my avatar graphic
- I have renewed my prayer life. I am not a conservative christian but I have felt a power greater than myself guiding me.

At first I just 'quit' but gradually I moved in ' recovery '. I suffered quite the withdrawl but I stayed clean. As that happened and with the above help I began to see things so much clearer.

I can now understand plenty about how I got into and stayed with P/M as a way of coping with life challenges. It is still not always easy but my confidence about staying clean has grown, my integrity is returning and I am more at peace with myself than at any point in recent decades.

Take care and I hope you can use some of my experience to move into recovery.

Dave

[Bird-boy]

If you ever fall off of your horse again, and want help or encouragement, I suggest reading past posts thet YOU have typed; from any time where YOU gave insight and/or advice. Think deeply about your past insight. Try to follow your own advice that you may have temporarily forgotten. Go back through your recovery journal and/or the forums you regularly visit, and read your past posts!

I need to do that for myself right now..


Copy and paste any of those posts, or posts of other people, save a word document of it, and (if you want to) print it out for reading all the time. This could be a good start for us to prepare ourselves and build the strong foundation--the foundation we may be able to build a Huge building on that protects us from P/M constantly.

[Mindtech]

Be good to yourself (I've written an entire post about this). Treat yourself well. Have a good meal, rest, talk to a friend, go see a movie, take a walk, listen to yourself. Do something that makes you feel good deep down inside. For me, it's nursing my plants, helping others, being polite to strangers, reflecting, writing, and much more.

If you start treating yourself with more respect, the better will you be able to think twice before giving in to a sudden urge. And that's generel advice.

[rugby15]

Be honest with yourself and your significant other. It is hard to do, but the sooner the better, then you can attack your PA faster.

[AJP2008]

100% for me is filtering. I have Cyberpatrol with a password of jumbled up number and letters that I can't crack. If I decide to look at P, I cannot without going into a Cybercafe and MBing to P, how funny would that look...I think there is a Family Guy episode with that on. I MB and then the feeling goes away. Its funny, but for me if I MB, then the feelings of surfing for P go away completely. Buy definately filtering....

[Robert E.]

My advice is to stay as busy as possible and as far away from your computer as possible. When you are on the computer to log onto this website or listen to a song that would give you a feeling of inspiration to stop. Also like someone said in here use a filter if possible. Start working out, reading, taking up hobbies, and any old thing to stay away from this addiction. In time you will have a whole new outlook on life and feel so much better about yourself. God bless. Hope this can help the article.

Paul Tripp Ministries: Psalm 51: Forgiveness

[dave]

Welcome here . . .

It takes a great deal of courage (and desperation) to reach out for help
I was in similar shoes to you.
I recently reached 500 days clean and it is a big change.
I am 57 and still with my wife after some 36 years !

Here's what worked for me.
- I white-knuckled it for a few weeks - withdrawl was a struggle but I was determined
- I disclosed to one trusted friend. It is often said we are only as sick as our secrets. That friend gave me a lead on a 12 step group - SAA
- I attend SAA - that has been a great help. Before the first meeting I was terrified about facing others but I left feeling I had found people who knew the way through this mess
- I found a counsellor through an SAA member. This has made an even greater difference. Members of SAA know which counselors understand the challenges SA face.
- I check in on this site almost every day
- I have renewed my prayer life. I am not a conservative christian but I have felt a power greater than myself guiding me. This mystery keeps me on the right path. My wife commented that beyond the clean lifestyle, my spiritual changes are most attractive to her.

At first I just 'quit' but gradually I moved on to 'recovery '. I suffered quite the withdrawl but I stayed clean. As that happened and with the above help I began to see things so much clearly.

I can now understand plenty about how I got into and stayed with P/M (and sx) for all those decades as a way of coping with life challenges. It is still not always easy but my confidence about staying clean has grown, my integrity has returned and I am more at peace with myself than at any point in recent decades.

Take care and I hope you can use some of my experience to move into recovery.

Dave

[Mac]

I was just reading a thread from 2008 (As a recovering PA , what advice would you give someone trying to quit.)
This is great info for anyone new at this. I am so glad to be able to find this kind of support at your finger tips.
This is far better use of your time than, wasting it with P
I'm fairly new at this, but my little peice of advice is to spend as much time each day reading info from TTF as you used to spend with P

Mac

[iwilldothis]

Some of this is probably repeated, but I this is what has helped me so far:

1 - Learn proper insight meditation. Practice it 15 minutes a day and also apply to same techniques to emotions and feelings as they arise through out the day.

2 - Learn as much as you can about the addiction, and always renew the knowledge. It is so much easier to deal with the urges and not be controled by them if you understand them and see where they come from.

3 - Understand what kind of harm it is doing to you. Write down why you are quitting and remind yourself slightly more often than you need to.

4 - Start a journal. The simple task of writing down what you are feeling allows you to deal with your emotions and urges a lot better. As a bonus, there are a lot of great people here who have been going through and are going through what you are going through and can remind you why you are doing this, and give you pointers when you need them.

5 - Read other people's journals. It helps in a number of ways, by helping you understand the addiction and seeing that the feelings, urges and thought that are going through you are not unique, but just part of the addiction. You don't have to act on them because you can see that someone has gone through it and there is light on the other side of the tunnel.

[Mac]

Thanks a lot Will Do
You have some very good thoughts

Mac