Struggling a little this evening...

bananaman · **Struggling a little this evening... -** 07-06-2008, 08:26 PM

Hi,

I just wanted to post tonight because I've got the raging horn and need to remind myself that I don't look at p anymore.

I've been really busy lately which is great since I am now 9 days clean ( a personal best). Tonight I have decided to stay at home in order to get an early night and some much needed sleep... only trouble is that I'm now bored and boredom is trigger number one for me. I'm also not feeling that hot so I'm in the mood to aimlessly surf the net.

This past week has been really great, genuinely the most productive week I've had in ages. I also met a gorgeous Galway Girl last night... being p free I was feeling really relaxed chatting to her and even though she looked amazing I really didn't have that horrible desperate 'I want to see you naked' feeling in my head. I just enjoyed her company. So I'm pleased about that because, as I've mentioned before, my attitude to women has been/is one of my main drivers for change.

On another topic... K9. I had installed it before but knew the password so predictably after a while I removed it. This time I have used a very lengthy method to store the password in an encrypted file at my university. It basically means that I can remove the block but I'd have to walk from home to campus and back twice! I think that ought to prevent any heat of the moment slip ups

Anyway as I said I just wanted to write something to help top up my resolve.

Hope you are all doing well,

T

FoolishMind · 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bananaman

On another topic... K9. I had installed it before but knew the password so predictably after a while I removed it. This time I have used a very lengthy method to store the password in an encrypted file at my university. It basically means that I can remove the block but I'd have to walk from home to campus and back twice! I think that ought to prevent any heat of the moment slip ups

Now thats a huge step in the right direction! Well Done bananaman

Two thumbs up from me!

FM

AJP2008 · 07-06-2008, 10:21 PM

Your doing better than me so far bananaman, I bombed out at 6 days on saturday, but I'm back again and doing a journal this time. I had the same trouble with the internet filter, then I realised that if I had access to it and the need for a fix was intense then I would do what I needed to to get the password and surf. So I did this. I created a text file on my laptop, entered a jumble of letters and numbers, copied it into the password setting box, then deleted the text file. Without re-installing my laptop (taking hours), I wouldn't be able to go on.

When I have the horn which is often, I just MB and then the feeling goes away, funny that. Hope this helps. Really good your interacting with women, I'm scared I will be rejected and then relapse so I am going to take a breather from relationships for a few months just so I can get on the straight and narrow. Not that they are beating my door down anyway.

bananaman · 07-08-2008, 02:39 PM

Hey AJP, thanks for the advice... As a single guy, who doesn't get much sex, I'm one of the people in the 'not against mb' camp as I think I would explode if I tried to go without mb. Although the funny thing is that now at day 11 already I can feel the need for mb declining, last night I felt like I should but I realised I didn't really have the horn it was just the habit speaking. So I didn't and I slept like a baby!

I wouldn't be hard on yourself about bombing at 6 days... that's a massive effort you should be pleased about. My first attempt lasted 2 days but each attempt has got longer and easier. Keep on trying and you'll succeed.

As for women, well, I really think getting rid of the inner perv will do great things for your love life, I'm hoping it will with mine. That is definately worth quitting p for.

AJP2008 · **3rd day off -** 07-08-2008, 06:56 PM

I hope the urge to MB will be subsiding for me too, there was points in my life when I would only MB once a week (couple of years ago), its weird how you want more at some times and less at others. Today I had the urge to look at Internet P but just MB'd and the feeling went away. Maybe one day I will stop MBing but for now it is a fix to Internet P urge. We'll get there.

NeverGiveUp · 07-18-2008, 02:04 AM

You know, I've often wished there was a way to get a filter on this linux box that I (a programmer that knows his way around things) wouldn't be able to remove in the heat of things. Anyone with advice on this? I've been contemplating getting rid of internet, but that's the last thing I want to do.

Peace and Love,
Stephen

bananaman · 07-18-2008, 06:37 PM

I used to run my laptop as dual boot, ubuntu and windows as I need to use linux occasionly and I kinda like it.

But I couldn't find a way to filter properly on it, it's too easy to workaround so I got rid of ubuntu. If you dual boot as well I would recommend that if not try cybersitter or one of the pay filters... I'm guessing they must work.

Good luck and as your name says... never give up.

Abbie · 07-23-2008, 09:51 AM

Have you tried blocking P through your router? Or do you just use Ethernet?

bananaman · 07-23-2008, 10:52 AM

I can't do it to my router as it's a shared wireless hub for my whole flat... my flatmates would be most annoyed if they couldn't look at p anymore!

I drop hints to one of them that he should try to stop but he doesn't see it... still his choice I guess...

FoolishMind · 07-23-2008, 01:12 PM

posted this for you Bananaman. Hope it helps. Internet Filter Software & Reviews