Thanks for the info. Yeah, I was wondering how that worked, about the posting. ... As for the plan. Hmmm? Well, it begins with me oddly enough. I think taking this step is the first necessary one. Since 98% of P is directly related to the computer for me, this is the next thing in need of fixing. Now I've tried to quit P before. Software doesn't work, as I can always beat it. I programmed my browser through the parent controls, to only go to about to 80 sites or so. This worked for months until a worm or virus came around and I had to reformat the drives. I'll probably end up doing this again. It's a huge pain in the butt though. I think the last time I did it it took two weeks of entering Urls and their combinations into the "accepted sites" lists. (doing it the other way doesn't work as it can be tricked-- that is entering sites you don't want to go to because there are always new P sites and BBSs) The whole thing is keyed with a 60 digit code. This prevents me from memorizing it, and I email it to a friend who knows about my issues. If there's a major problem with the computer or some site I forgot to add, they can send me the code so I can update the list. They also check-in to make sure I delete it, and they only send it to me after I beg for it. If I'm constantly requesting it, they confront me. This friend is a big help of course. ... Oh, if anyone is thinking about doing this I highly recommend eliminating all search engines. If there's something you need to search go to kinkos, or other public online outlet. Too, make a backup list of the sites you want to include. The Controller's function won't allow you to "select all" and copy and paste, and if something happens you'll be able to rebuild the Controller's "allowed list" in a fraction of the time. Oh, and you'll need to include the http:// i.e.
http://www.lightwave part of the Url as well as the Url without it: i.e.
www.lightwave, or just lightwave.com. It is possible to include some search functions, but this is very tricky. For instance you might be able to limit it to just getting the results with no linking, or jumping to the sites in question. I can't remember exactly how off the top of my head. I know it had something to do with adding a partial Url from the search engine into the block list-- oh, and you can enter fragments of Urls as well as whole ones (if you listed .jp for instance you would never be able to get into a Japanese site.) ... But to keep it simple, I'd just block the search engines.
Anyway, after that-- well, the bar is closed sort of speak. I'll have to monitor how I react to this new way of doing computing. Watch for the triggers and deal with how I'm feeling instead of acting out. Then after some time of being "sober" I'll say 3 months, I think the next stage will be an actual SA meeting. I know someone deeply involved in the local "scene" with SLA, so I'll touch base there. ... Along the way I'll reconnect with what I consider the spiritual side of the coin, the one I can stomach at least. The closest I can pin-point it is Wayne Dryer's workshops. Too, Bradshaw. Someone else mentioned "Healing the Shame that Binds You" (I'm staring its dusty cover right now, along with a Cyber Addiction book) Too, I just learned Bradshaw has a tapes on SA that can bought. Here's the link to the catalog:
http://www.bradshawcassettes.com/catalog.html
I can't testify as to the content or effectiveness as I'm in the process of buying them, but maybe someone else will find them or another tape helpful.
I kind of know where all this heading though, therapy. I hate doctors. Anyway, it's down the road, so I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
So the short term is putting the reins on the computer. That should keep me busy for a couple of weeks. ... The rest of today looks like smooth sailing. I'll check in later.
A shot in the dark -
11-14-2007, 12:51 AM
Linear Mode
