Someone, please help me!

[clog]

Dane,

Good to have you on the forum. We'll all support you in your efforts to overcome your addiction.

I wanted to comment on your statement that you don't see anything wrong with the porn you view. Let me try a few things on you:

- Click on the 'resources' tab of this website and have a good look at the anti-porn activism websites mentioned. Yes, I also thought they were written by a bunch of zealots and prudes initially. Look into it. Even those seemingly innocent nude and nearly-nude SC images: what proportion of the women you look at do you think posed entirely out of their own free will and were comfortable and happy with it? How many were driven by desperation for money? How many are addicts and needed the money to get their next fix? How many were talked into this 'modeling' by abusive boyfriends or parents? All those girlfriend pictures around - how many of those women do you think would have agreed to pose if they'd known the shots were going to be published on the internet? How many of the boyfriends actually posted these pictures as an act of revenge and humiliation?

- Think of girls and women close to you: your wife, your sisters, your daughters, posing for these pictures. Think of the thousands of men staring at their pictures, lusting after their bodies, MB'ing. You OK with that image? The women you look at are other people's sisters, daughters, wives.

- Read the stories on this forum. Look what PA has done to people's lives, relationships, careers. Read the partners' forum. Pay attention to the deep, deep hurt partners are feeling. Are your 'innocent' pictures still OK?

It also sounds to me like your RLS is a bit of an excuse for the use of P. The reason MB doesn't come to a conclusion without P for you is probably twofold. One: you're sxually exhausted. Two: your mind is set in its ways. I promise - once you're off P and a daily MB habit for a couple of weeks, things will change drastically. You will have far more sxual energy and will appreciate sx with your wife (or with yourself if you must) much more rewarding.

Hope this helps.

Clog.

[Newman]

Dane,

I'd encourage you to get rid of P in your life altogether. I don't see that any good can come from it. My life is much, much better without it. I think yours probably would be too. Good luck.

[jasmine]

I so much agree on what you say about being honest and that sex ain't the most important thing in a marrige. Thats an oppinion both me and my whife share.
I know I have a problem! I know I am a PA, but the difficult part is that I don't want to quit.
Or... I would like to have a normal releationship with P, so I could look at it from time to time. Maby once a month or so.. But I guess that this is like alcohol for alcoholics.
One small taste, and you're back in the game.

So I will quit this time!

I can't speak for all significant others here, but I think the way I feel about a "normal relationship with porn" is that it is very difficult to have. And I don't necessarily mean in an addictive way (but yes, that too). I also mean that it seems human beings are programmed to be aroused by others having sex, and it follows that you may end up masturbating to it as well. I think this is what really bothered me about porn, that my boyfriend was essentially having sex and orgasming to someone else. I think it's one thing to watch and be like, "Oh, looked how messed up those people are, haha, hilarious," and it is another to actually want to have sex with the girl so bad that you can actually achieve sexual climax. That really hurts.

So, normal relationship with porn, sure, if you can genuinely see how screwed up they are and what they are doing is, and laugh at them because they look so ridiculous, I would love to see my boyfriend do that. I would love to see him watch a porn vid, and think, "gosh, that girl looks so stupid doing that." But that is not what he does. He worships those girls, as if they have a shred of decency or respect for themselves, reeling in the profits at the expense of relationships everywhere. I would give anything for my boyfriend to watch porn and see it for what it really is, but I have a feeling very few people can.

[Dane]

Thank yopu very much for good words!
You have right in what you say here. But I'm not shure that I love P
more than I hate it.

P has been in my life for a lot of years. Lots of years...
And besides P, I am very happy with my life and the way I live. Many
people look at me as a good man, and I know I am! I am a good christian,
I love my whife, I've got good friends etc...

But if someone says: Is it anything you want to change in your life? (or somthing like that)
P allways pops into my head and I'm like.
-Okay, I will stop now!!
And this has been going on and on for years...

So I will make it! I wlil quit! I am an PA and I need help from you guys.
It is really heavy to say that. I am a good man, but I feel like a alcoholic in the aa
trying to get sober... It's strange...

Anyway, thaks you guys for caring! And I will read in your book later Matt 4:17 :)

Dane

[Dane]

Dane,

Good to have you on the forum. We'll all support you in your efforts to overcome your addiction.

I wanted to comment on your statement that you don't see anything wrong with the porn you view. Let me try a few things on you:

- Click on the 'resources' tab of this website and have a good look at the anti-porn activism websites mentioned. Yes, I also thought they were written by a bunch of zealots and prudes initially. Look into it. Even those seemingly innocent nude and nearly-nude SC images: what proportion of the women you look at do you think posed entirely out of their own free will and were comfortable and happy with it? How many were driven by desperation for money? How many are addicts and needed the money to get their next fix? How many were talked into this 'modeling' by abusive boyfriends or parents? All those girlfriend pictures around - how many of those women do you think would have agreed to pose if they'd known the shots were going to be published on the internet? How many of the boyfriends actually posted these pictures as an act of revenge and humiliation?

- Think of girls and women close to you: your wife, your sisters, your daughters, posing for these pictures. Think of the thousands of men staring at their pictures, lusting after their bodies, MB'ing. You OK with that image? The women you look at are other people's sisters, daughters, wives.

- Read the stories on this forum. Look what PA has done to people's lives, relationships, careers. Read the partners' forum. Pay attention to the deep, deep hurt partners are feeling. Are your 'innocent' pictures still OK?

It also sounds to me like your RLS is a bit of an excuse for the use of P. The reason MB doesn't come to a conclusion without P for you is probably twofold. One: you're sxually exhausted. Two: your mind is set in its ways. I promise - once you're off P and a daily MB habit for a couple of weeks, things will change drastically. You will have far more sxual energy and will appreciate sx with your wife (or with yourself if you must) much more rewarding.

Hope this helps.

Clog.

Dude... Thanks :)
I almost started crying here... It's so true...
Thank you so much!!

Thank you, all of you guys!

I don't have the time to wright much now, have to go. But I will try to
step by daily!

Thank you again for caring! :)