I need some help

[Jane]

My name is Jane. I just joined today. I realize that I am a porn/masterbation addict, but I don't know how to stop.
I started looking at porn at 14. At first, it was just stories, but now is is hardcore. I hate myself and what I do. I live at home, and I am always afraid to get caught, because my parents through my brother out for his addiction to porn.
I am in a relationship, but I don't know if it is real because it is so webbed with porn. I have to look at porn at leased 3 times a day to get through the day.
I want a better life from this. I want my life to be pure, and I want sex to not be my life, but a reward that comes with it.
I need help. But I do not have the resources not the money to do so. I need some ones help. I don't want to live this way anymore. Thank you for reading.
Jane

[hime34]

Hello Jane, and I'm glad you found this place. Welcome aboard!

Let me tell you the good news first: this is one of the best sites you could ever spend your time in dealing with P and M, and it costs absolutely nothing! You come here, first introduce yourself like you just did, I tell you you made a bold and brave choice to fight this thing. You read some of the journals in here, just to see how other people in similar positions are struggling with this thing. Then you start your own journal - that's one of the best tools you can have in fighting this addiction.

Then the not-so-good news. It's gonna take your full commitment and alot of effort - and time. It's not gonna be easy, but with help and support here, and when focusing on one day at a time, you'll gonna make it. You one day wake up and realize that you've gone without P and MB for longer than you could ever have dreamed of and that is going to make you feel so great about yourself and your life. Then you'll start to reap the rewards of the hard work you've done.

You've made a great decision with coming here and deciding you want to cuit P and MB. That is all good.

[cyberpunk]

I know what you mean about not wanting sex to be your life. At some point in my life I want to have a healthy sexual relationship with a woman I love, however, right now it feels like I live just for sexual gratification. There is so much more to life and love then just sex but it occupies so much of my time and thoughts that I feel crippled by it. I truly want to control my sexual desires and not have them control me.

[Newman]

Good for you for wanting to do the right thing. I think the best suggestion I can give you is that you need a plan. Consult the material on the home page of this website about how to get started breaking a porn addiction. If you are keeping porn around you should get rid of it, all of it, and make access to sources of porn as difficult as possible. Decide what you are going to do to avoid using porn when the impulse to do so hits. If possible it would be a good to enlist the help of someone you trust. Dealing with this problem is easier if secrecy is broken. This is a good site for getting ideas and resources for dealing with this problem. There are many other good sites that I'd encourage you to find and read. You've taken the right first step of recognizing the problem and wanting to change. I agree with hime that it will take concerted effort everyday for a while to get this under control. For some, professional help is required but others have been able to succeed without this. Whatever it takes, your life will be much better for overcoming this. Good luck.

[Matt4:17]

Hey Jane,

Don't be so tough on yourself! That's all I can really say! I slip up from time to time, and it's not as easy as it sounds!

This is really a test of character! I have a tough time putting it down too, even when I know that I want to stop!!! But, those urges just keep coming back!

I've quit ciggs, and believe me, I thought that was a tuffy, but this one...woah! Have faith though my friend, all works itself out in the end!

I have, what some call, an addictive personality, and I do! I'm an alcoholic, and PA. I feel though, I want to work on the PA thing first, then get my life sober! Sometimes, I just want to lock myself in a room for a week till I get over it all! I'm not a big addict, but someone who just feels they drink, and view P to much!

Your still young, and you have your whole life ahead of you! My advice, is listen to advice given to you! That's the only ever great free thing in this world that can stay with you forever!!!

As you read other peopls accounts here, you'll find out more and more, how PA hurst people, and those around them. It's serious stuff, that is not understood by the masses. I mean, some folks live the lives of others!

Just know, no one is perfect! If we all were, then what's the point of living then? There would be no room to grow, right?

Keep in touch! You'll make it!

You slip up, ask yourself, what made me do it!

[iblivin4givinru]

My name is Jane. I just joined today. I realize that I am a porn/masterbation addict, but I don't know how to stop.
I started looking at porn at 14. At first, it was just stories, but now is is hardcore. I hate myself and what I do. I live at home, and I am always afraid to get caught, because my parents through my brother out for his addiction to porn.
I am in a relationship, but I don't know if it is real because it is so webbed with porn. I have to look at porn at leased 3 times a day to get through the day.
I want a better life from this. I want my life to be pure, and I want sex to not be my life, but a reward that comes with it.
I need help. But I do not have the resources not the money to do so. I need some ones help. I don't want to live this way anymore. Thank you for reading.
Jane

hey jane, just like you i have a huge addiciton to porn and i have been caught several times, i cant help myself when it comes to this but i also have many other people that have said things that help me alot in my struggles you should check out my forum i posted it might help >>>> http://www.throughtheflame.org/forum...much-help.html

check it out many people struggle through the same thing it is just good that you found this site and are willing as a teen to stop looking at P.

God Bless,

Wendell

[ericlee2008]

hey jane. Here is what i did. I took a look at my life and what i wanted to do versus what i was doing. Then i took alook at my priorities. Porn is self worship, so is masturbation. The hard thing is we justify it. Thats one thing we have to stop. And another thing we have to realize, (as ive said the whole time) WE CANT BEAT THIS! It is only by the power of the holy spirit that it can be done.
What i did was think to myself; is this really worth it? worth risking my soul? my happiness in christ? risking my job? my position as a teacher? so i did this
1. i made it a daily mission to AVOID ALL APPEARANCE OF SIN.
2. i stopped beating myself up so much for little messups
3. I started taking my focus from myself and my discouragements and i started thinking of the one thing that i love to do. SERVE.
4. i started really digging deep into my faith again and making myself get down on MY HANDS AND KNEES and pray to God for STRENGTH.
5. If i start to stumble; i pray. If it is still to strong; i call someone and pray with them. If it is still too strong; I FIND ANYTHING ELSE TO DO.

I pray this helps.

[Abbie]

Hi Jane,

I'm assuming you are female from your username (let me know if this is not the case!).

There is a dedicated forum for women in recovery which you may like to post in too:

Women in recovery - TTF community forums

I would suggest you start a journal in that forum too. It doesn't seem to be a very active forum at the moment, but I'm guessing that it can be a very difficult subject for women to address, an addiction to P seems to go against the grain of what society expects from women - yet another sad stereotype as P addiction can affect anyone. I would also suggest that you read the recovery journals here:

Recovery journals - TTF community forums

Yes, they are written by males but there is a wealth of knowledge and advice to be gleaned by them for any addict.

You should be really proud that you have taken steps to address your addiction, I hope to see you around the boards.