I need a good bit of help.

[Auro]

I am a teenage porn addict, plain and simple. It has been this way for a couple of months and no matter how much I try to stop I always come back to the P. I am tired of everything involved with this, and I feel so guilty because there are two girls I like and I feel as if I am betraying them. I don't know what to do, I have tried many things and I cannot seek counseling. I truly hope you people will be able to offer me good guidance.

[Little lock]

Hey Auro, guess what? I am a teenage porn addict as well. And I like a girl too, whom I feel I'm betraying everytime I watch P. I feel lost and without direction at times, especially when I have relapsed. What I do is to normally read a book, play a game or just go for a quick walk around the block. Then, later, when I'm feeling better, I try to come to terms with myself and make sure that I do not relapse again. It's not much, but I hope it helps.

[Vorlan]

Welcome Auro,

I'm also a teenage PA. I can see that Littlelock has already given you some great advice. OK building on that you need to work out:

1. What triggers your P usage? - is it boredom, anger, lonliness, using the computer alone?
2. How you can counter those triggers - e.g. avoid boredom, only use the computer with someone else in the room
3. What you are going to do with the time that you aren't going to be using to look at P? - take up a hobby, start playing a musical instrument, start working out, anything like that

Then you need to put that plan into action. I'd also advise that you read through as much of the site as you can, the journals of FM : The truth is painful - but required - ThroughTheFlame.org - support forums and AE: Three Hundred and Sixty-Five Days - ThroughTheFlame.org - support forums are particularly good. Starting a journal on the site would be a good idea, it gives you a place to vent your emotions, tell your story and get advice and support. Try to go on the site as often as possible, it's a great way to avoid temptation.

Try to take it one day at a time and keep positive! You are going to beat this!

The best of luck,

Ben

[Auro]

Thank you both. I have not looked at any of that stuff since I have posted, and I am finally feel like I am in control again.

I think however that I need to go do something else because boredom is settling in and a certain "urge" wants to overtake me. I will do my best to relieve that boredom by playing some games now :).

[Vorlan]

Good work Auro! I hope you continue to be successful! It is a long, hard road to freedom but it is very much worth it.

Best of luck,

Ben

[cyberpunk]

I hope no one minds the suggestion, but I know that a few years ago when I was in your shoes, I felt the same way. It feels like you have no one to talk to, your peers won't understand and will probably make fun of you, and your parents will just punish you.

However, I would suggest, that even if it is very difficult you should talk to your parents. Most parents are much more understanding then you think and truly do love you and want the best for you. They will be your greatest ally in this battle and will be able to greatly help you by installing internet filters and giving you someone to be accountable to.

I've still never told my father, but I finally confided in my mother (when I was an adult) and it has been a great help to me. I wish that I had talked to her when I was younger and at home. I would probably be a lot farther along the road to recovery than I am now. Good luck to you and I am happy that you are recognizing your addiction at an early age.

[AnxiouslyEngaged]

Cyberpunk is spot on, Auro. I want to back up what he said 100%. I have a feeling that most of the members here wish they would have involved their parents when they were younger and still at home. They can be your most powerful ally as you combat this problem.

If the idea of telling one or both of them terrifies you, then I would suggest trying to make a go of it on your own. But if you find that you can't stay away, and that you repeatedly slip up, give some serious consideration to enlisting their help.

Welcome to the site, though, Auro. It's wonderful to see someone still so young willing to step up to the challenge of ridding his life of this filth. Good luck, and we'll be here with you every step of the way.

AE

[Auro]

Well I am going to try to go it alone. I have resisted a powerful temptation and perhaps I can just rid myself of it alone. Though if it gets bad I will tell my parents without hesitation.

[showmelove]

I too want to say that it would be a good thing for you to confide in your parents. I don't think PA is the main problem for most PA's. I think we became PA for a reason. Maybe it's because of lonelyness, stress or something else. But that same reason we became a PA can be the same reason why some of us have a hard time to reach out to people that are close to us. So reaching out to your parents, if can build up the courage, because I know it takes lots, could be a very positive thing I think. Good luck either way!