Ok everyone... this is my total honest cry for help. Do not worry I am in PureLifeMinistries and havce a counselor but.. what I would really liek is tons of support from people who don't love me.... and love the Lord Jesus.... and will send me messages of joy and paragraphs of hope for my life..
Everything with P+M is a struggle... and I so want to overcome this horrid disgusting sin.

. It isn't goign to be easy with all the praying and reading that I am goign to encounter for the next 3 months of this program.
Sometime I give in.... while I sit in the middle of my churches sanctuary and that makes mee feel so bad... and i start to think of things... like who am i to do this right in the very eyes of God... but he is always right beside me anyways.... watchign me and holdign is arms open wide waiting for me to turn to him.... why is that so hard... It makes me cry.. in joy thinking abotu how he never hates me or angry... but he sure has the right to.