Question for everyone

[Bluehorse]

I'm just curious how many of us here got into the really perverted stuff eventually. I started off not that way, and slowly started viewing increasingly hardcore stuff untill I disgusted myself. Also how many of us here viewed P while M? I did both.

[Vorlan]

I am amazed now at the filth I was watching, and yes very nearly ever single time I watched P I MB.

I think its one of the worst things about P, we use it to try to fill a void inside ourselves but P can never fill it, so we search and search, watch ever more hardcore P trying to fill that hole. But P doesn't fill the hole, it just makes it wider. The only thing that can fill the hole is good, wholesome things. Thats what we yearned for.

Its a good question Bluehorse!

The best,

Ben

[Nordman]

Interesting question. I always masturbated while watching P, that was sort of the point. However, I didn't search for ever harder stuff, just kept at search for the same (I guess) quite normal stuff. It did become more and more difficult finding pics i really liked htough, so the clicking and the amount of stuff I had to see increased. I guess at some point things would have turned nastier.

Nordman

[bananaman]

Hmmmm interesting. I definitely felt like my resistance to p has built up over time... I used to mainly look at softcore. Over time I have looked at increasingly more bizarre stuff that to be honest has surprised me since I have never even considered most of the things I've looked at in real life.

And I can relate to the endless clicking looking for just the right clip/pic to 'end' on. P and M have always gone together for me... sort of thought that was the point.

[Farmer]

It seems every where I go on TTF someone has written something that sounds a lot like me. Here is some info I copied from saahelp.com: (It is definitely my story)

Early in childhood we learned not to trust. Many of us share a common history of some type of childhood abuse. We were yelled at, put down, laughed at, criticized, and told we were worthless or stupid or ugly, or responsible for everything wrong in our family. Today we recognize this as emotional abuse. We were neglected, ignored, minimized or overlooked. Today we call this emotional abandonment. We were slapped, punched, hit, beaten, knocked down, or struck with objects. Today we know this to be physical abuse. Lastly, we were touched, leered at, pawed, told sexually lewd or explicit jokes, and coerced or forced into sexual activities. Today we call this sexual abuse. Whatever abuses we suffered we learned that to survive we had to find a way to not feel the overwhelming and unbearable pain. ...
We have always been aware that we are alone. As children we interpreted the abandonment and/or abuses we experienced as justified. We believed that we were at fault for what had happened to us. Unconsciously we knew that we were somehow defective, that we were different from other human beings and not “normal.� Sex with ourselves or with others gave us the illusion of acceptance and thus the “cure� to our worthlessness. We became addicted to the “cure.� We needed a constant supply of sexual activity to stay “cured.� So we used others for sex instead of having relationships, or we bought our “cure� through magazines, or male prostitutes, or we sold our bodies to others, did sexually inappropriate acts, or we masturbated, but always we lusted. To lust was to live. ...
For many of us, our “Problem� began as a valiant attempt on the part of a child to cope and survive in an abusive world. This abusive world was one with which children are not designed to cope, much less experience. However, our “solution� became a part of our problem and eventually, it became “The Problem�. We were hopelessly addicted to lust.

[Bluehorse]

Interesting answers everyone...I think many of us may have different reasons for viewing p. And also the content. I think for me, I used p and m almost like a drug. And so I always was looking for a greater and greater "high". For this reason perhaps I started viewing more and more perverted stuff in the hopes to reach a higher plateua of sensation. But in the end it just made me feel worse and more empty. I think for me this has been a valuable lesson. It has been 4 days I havn't viewed anything or M. And I'm really hoping I can forget I ever viewed most of that stuff and just move on.

[Farmer]

Bluehorse, keep at it because the days go by quickly and you are off to a good start.

The higher highs that you talked about and looking at higher risk P is where I come from as well. I found the higher highs when I started using a webcab. That is when I hit bottom; I was doing things and fantasizing about things that I would never do in real life. I hit the lower lows that I ever hit and decided I had to quit.

Farmer.

[Pa_724_Guy]

Always find myself searching for that perfect picture or video on the internet of something homosexual .
And, I have ran into some problems where my computer has become infected with viruses from looking at websites that are harmful .
I always find myself m when looking at p . I use too m in the shower to fantasies .
But, porn came into the picture ...