hiiii guys ,
i would like her to ask frankly,hoppiing u all have more experience than me,what r definetly the bad effects of being watching p for long periods? im 20 now , i'v been addicting p for about 4 years.
i start to notiice from a while that i'm developing premature ejacuation that doosn't exceed more than 2 minutes;does this have any relation with mb for about 5 or 6years???
the last thing ,i really want to thank every guy respponsible for this great site,it really encourages me,go ahead.
I don't know about any scientific 'facts' about the effects of porn, but these are the facts of my experience.
The main thing for me was that the addiction was controlling me. I had decided many times over that I wanted to stop using porn because I was wasting so much time, because I think it's degrading to women, etc. But the addiction would take over and make me act against my will in a degrading way that felt filthy and made me hate and despise myself. I feel that this is not a healthy mental state to be in.
Not sure if you will count this as a 'fact', but ejaculating too frequently is considered harmful in Traditional Chinese Medicine and esoteric Daoism. Semen is believed to contain great quantities of the body's 'essence', an energetic substance of which we have only limited quantities. Depleting the essence could cause symptoms such as knee and back problems, faulty short-term memory, baldness, and, yes, sexual problems such as premature ejaculation, infertility and impotence. I'm not saying this is true, but that's the theory. According to the Daoist teacher Mantak Chia (about whom I have my doubts, but other people say this too) ejaculation through masturbation is particularly harmful because it's not balanced by the benefits of receiving emotional energy from a partner. Conserving the essence is considered by Daoists and others to be important for health and spiritual development. Overindulgence in sexual fantasies is also considered harmful because it alienates us from reality.
Porn has distorted my sexuality and hindered me from developing true emotional sexual relationships. It has made me hide part of myself from others. Most importantly, it became an addiction that controlled my mind in an incredibly powerful way. Giving up smoking was much easier. I have never been addicted to substances like heroin or crack, but I imagine that the degradation of the spirit I experienced through porn addiction is closer to those addictions than to smoking.
I noticed myself I noticed with time that I sought out and became turned on by increasingly peverse and degrading material. There is no doubt in my experience that porn desensitises one to all that is good, decent, chaste, loveable and virtuous. I am so glad that I have found the strength to give it up, I feel so much more of a man for it. You must quit while you are still young.
I don't know if it is a 'fact', but my my sex-life has also been marked by premature ejaculation. And sometimes i've come in much less than 2 minutes. I don't know if this is due to porn-abuse, but i think it is likely. I've also experienced that i've had problems maintaning an erection, and in htis situation it is very difficult to control the ejaculation.
First, what do you mean by "developing" premature ejaculation? Does this mean it is getting worse or has it always been a problem? I have not ever seen evidence on the relationship between porn and premature ejaculation, and part of the reason for this is that every case of premature ejaculation has a different cause based on the individual. While in your case the two may be related, it is almost impossible to study the correlation, because every individual with PE has a different cause. For some it may be pornography, and for others it may be prostate problems, thus introducing boundless confounding elements into the study.
However, if I had to speculate from experience, I think about 30% of men have premature ejaculation. It is one of the most common sexual "dysfunctions," if you want to call it that. Evolution probably favored it, because imagine if it took human beings an hour to have sex when there were constant and immediate threats going on all over the place. The slow-ejaculating individuals would never reproduce because it takes them so long!
I think you are perfectly normal. But this could be your problem: perhaps by watching pornographic movies you have come to the conclusion that it is normal for men to be able to hold out for an hour every time, and that affects how you feel about yourself. I'm pretty sure that the men who shoot porn are unrealistic in that aspect, so I wouldn't compare yourself to how long those guys can hold out.
We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Sorry, but I have to disagree Jasmine. I think you are right that people may be predisposed to PE, but I know from experience that porn trains you to get off in a way that is much different than intimacy with a real woman.
This is one of the (many) fundamental problems with porn. If a person starts to prefer it to the real thing, and then expects to still have a good working level of intimacy with a living partner, I think that is impossible. I think it's one or the other, but never both.
When a guy starts to favor P over the real thing for too long, I see one of two things happening.
1) They have difficulty achieving climax with a real woman no matter what the situation is.
2) They might climax much faster and encourage PE.
The reason for the first, and I have read up for this, is because a lot of guys who MB to porn are actually pretty rough with themselves and get used to how that feels. Then when they are intimate with a partner it doesn't feel anything like what they have conditioned themselves to enjoy wile using porn. Conditioned being the important term, I believe that any behavior with time and effort can be "unlearned."
The second is the category I think most guys, and myself fall into. We look at porn for a quick pleasure and don't want to get caught, we don't want you to walk in while we're looking at porn, so we start to MB as quickly as possible. The goal is to get to the high of climax as quickly as possible so we don't get found out. So the body slowly gets conditioned to believe that climaxing quickly is ok and good and the point.
I truly believe these are conditioned responses that can be unlearned, but it isn't easy and it takes time and effort.
Thoughts?
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi
You know something, I never thought of it that way, and I always wondered how men thought of that kind of climax. Light, it makes sense what you're saying. And the reason is because my boyfriend has been addicted to porn for 8 years, which I only recently found out about. However, there were two things I noticed in our relationship before I even knew about the porn: bad real life communication in real relationship and premature ejaculation. Once I found out about his porn habit, everything fit the picture, so I definitely can see where you are coming from just because it pieces together the puzzle for me so well.
You also say it can be unconditioned. How would a person go about doing that? I hope it doesn't take as long as it took to develop the condition in the first place...
We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
The second is the category I think most guys, and myself fall into. We look at porn for a quick pleasure and don't want to get caught, we don't want you to walk in while we're looking at porn, so we start to MB as quickly as possible. The goal is to get to the high of climax as quickly as possible so we don't get found out. So the body slowly gets conditioned to believe that climaxing quickly is ok and good and the point.
For me, Light and Jasmine, I would use P to lengthen my MB time and delay climax for as long as I could. I am not talking minutes either. This conditioning in turn caused the opposite effect in real life sex.
I believe PE is a symptom of erectile dysfunction. I believe P and M addiction over time will lead to ED & PE. It has for me. While attempting real life sex, I would try to duplicate the high and easy arousal while attempting sex and it would lead to frustration and ED and/or PE.
By eliminating P the brain can be re-trained to disassociate P with sex and a healthy sex life can be found.
Location: Currently Utah, but I'm an East Coaster at heart.
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05-18-2008, 02:54 AM
I haven't done very much research on this myself (and I'm talking mostly about the scientific sort), but I've heard the following from a very reputable source:
PA is actually physically imprinted into the brain. That's why addictive behavior is so hard to get past, because the neural pathways are set for it, physically. It's incredibly difficult to interrupt that process each and every time it occurs and reroute the electrons that are flying through your brain. Also, over time, addiction will actually damage the brain in a certain way, as the addictive behavior takes precedence over normal, healthy, and productive neurological functions. The longer the time, and the deeper the addiction, the worse the "damage." Here's the good and bad news. The good news is that the process is reversible. The damage can be undone, and every effort to redirect addictive pathways in the brain will help that process. The bad news is that it takes about five years to be completely recovered--where the former PA will no longer experience any desire for P at all, where relapse is no longer "possible" or likely in any way.
In my opinion, after ten years of struggling with this addiction, five years seems like a small price to pay--especially considering that those five years will be spent in a successful struggle against it, with me fighting it off, and not having it control me. That's more good news, I guess. I can choose to not let pornography control me starting today, and then keep that attitude forever. In five years, it will all truly be a thing of the past in every sense of the word.
I've been hesitant to mention those "facts" because I really don't want any of us to think, "Five years?" and despair. Because I think it's clear that even after a few days without P, life starts to improve. The hard part is that the urges will continue to come, but it doesn't mean any of us must succumb to them. We just have to keep the fight going. Also, each day gives us more strength in that very struggle. All the time, the addiction will be getting weaker as we keep ourselves clean. And then, in time, it will be gone forever.
i want facts -
05-03-2008, 05:38 PM
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