2 months almost!

[ATraversLesFlammes]

I've been clean since last month, it's been two months almost. I don't know if it got much value i've read somewhere the recovering process takes 18months, so i still got a long way to go. Plus, i've made a concession, altough i avoided P, which by definition, is anything exposing Sexual Acts, i do looks at photos and clips of nude women. That's the lesser evil i guess, but not sure if it's so great either (but that's another problem).

Well, i don't feel like writtin much at the moment, i hope i won't have to , cause that would mean i've failed.

[AnxiouslyEngaged]

Welcome to the site, ATLF (clever name, by the way). It's awesome to hear that you've made so much progress, AND that you've still decided to join this forum to continue to improve. This is a great place where you'll definitely find any support you're looking for to continue your battle against PA.

I have to say, however, that the next important step that you need to take is to get rid of the pics and clips of nude women that you're continuing to look at. For myself, this was actually the brunt of my problem. I never got very much into the "hardcore" images and videos (and when I did, they didn't really do it for me.) This site is about getting rid of any addiction to P. Because, when you think about it, it's great to be away from the worst of it, but is it really that great if you're still driven to look at things that objectify and demean women? (Just for clarification--it sounds like you've gotten away from "hardcore" and are now only involved with "softcore" stuff?)

I challenge (and I intend to endow that word with as much positive encouragement and support I can muster) you to give it all up--just for one day. And then, when you make it to the end of that day, try to do it again. I also suggest starting a journal on this forum, where we can all read about it and provide encouragement and support, to record your experiences on a daily basis as you try to kick the addiction completely.

Good luck, and I'll be looking forward to hearing about your future efforts.

AE

[Dominus]

Hey ATFM, I always understood porn to mean 'that which innapropriately excites sexual desire'. From that perspective looking at nude or semiclad women is still porn if the reason we look at it is to be turned on.

That said it sounds like you are doing great, keep up the good work and see if you can step up a level - you will find it easier to put it all behind you if you do.

[FoolishMind]

HI ATFM, Thought you had vanished! Well done on your 2 months, although I do have the same opinion as Dominus re: "I always understood to mean 'that which innapropriately excites sexual desire'. From that perspective looking at or semiclad women is still if the reason we look at it is to be turned on."

All the best

FM

[dave]

I am just 3 weeks P clean but it feels better every day !
In regards to soft P - here is my take.
I have lived a life with excessive sex pressure within me for decades.
I fed it with soft and hard P
I like sex, but I don't want that pressure controlling my attention so I am going totally clean
- even MB !
My hope and prayer is that I can find a life free of the sex pressure that has driven me
for so many years.
I have my better days and my tougher days but I am making progress.
It will be so great when I can reach a point where I can live without feeling sex urges
controlling my attention - I want to replace it with so much more . . . .
Best withes to all on the journey
( any pointers on how to get the Ticker counter thing working in a routine way?)

[ATraversLesFlammes]

As was pointed out, i just moved from hardcore to Hardcore. And the definition that was given "anything that excites sexual desire", is absolutely correct. I guess it was just a transition, as i felt i would fail, if i tryed to go cold turkey, i would crack, and destroy all my hard work in one go. So i just accepted that watching stuff including nudity, seemed ok. But, at first i watched only women, then naked women, then naked women with explicite behaviour, this is the path that will lead me back to Porn i guess.
I must start a new fight, to give it up Altogether, doing it from the start was simply behind my reach at that point, but now i have to. For an addict, there's nothing "ok", it's just simply wrong, that's it, theses softcore stuffs leads u back to hardcore, as simple as, and i've already pointed that out.

I'll try hard to really give up Porn, i'm starting to think, that i've not really gave up. I'll try to give it up altogether, for real, which means i'll start visiting this forum everyday again :)

[FoolishMind]

Hey ATLF,

I wrote a post the other day specific to Belzedar. But I think the same will similarly apply to you. Have a read and tell me what you think.

Belzedar's Journey

FM

[ATraversLesFlammes]

i been throught this post, as u asked me to, just to find, almost all that was suggested in it, was so true that it had already be pointed out by others members as well as by me :)
Social akwardness is bad, for an addict, whether it's PA or not, it's awfull. He who tries to get rid of this addiction, needs on the long run, to think about the mecanisms that first got him into it, and subsequently kept or got him back in. For me, watching P, was the most straightforward way to release stress, and fullfill empty time. Maybe i could still avoid watching P even tho i don't solve this issue, but solving it, will make the recovering process much stronger and less painfull. The most simple thing to do that was already pointed out by others is to get some social activity such as Gym, (which i'm working on, at the moment).
From what i understood, the second point of ur post was that, u must not expect things to get better, just like that, one got to be active, and aware. If he's responsible for the bad, he can become so for the good. It's nothing about some "holy spirit", or anything like that, it's a long process, difficult, but with great reward, but definately, the "i hope i won't go back it", or "i don't know if i won't fail", should be banned definately, i'm trying to really put my all in, to destroy this addiction. Though, it's not only about will power, this forum, and the fact, i recognized the problem as a true problem, experienced by others people with similiars consequences, and symptoms, this made a strong effect on me. I feel less guilty about myself and more motivated, to think about how getting rid of it.

Let's say at the moment, i did not really solve the surrounding problems that make the situation favorable for any addiction, i'll try to work on it. I did not really got ride of Anything that was P related, for like one month i gave it up altogether, but then i felt my bad habit were coming back, i felt the urge to look at P, mainly when i was bored or mad. Having experienced it in the past, and this always lead me to P again, i felt that allowing myself looking at some softcore pictures "playboy-like", was acceptable, just like cocaine addict take morphine. But, i gotta give it up altogether, or it'll just lead me back to P, i don't want that, so i'll just get rid of it.
I heard a drug addict can be considered clean after 18months without drug. i'll post something in 16months!

[castaway16]

Hello ATLF ... I'm very very happy for you !

comparing your earlier post when you were so defeated and down .. to this one... that's a BIG difference !

and yes .. those pics that you mentioned are not good for you at all .. in fact, they'd have a negative effect, but the prevailing wisdom in your latter post, will undoubtedly guide you all the way long ..

about the 18 months thing, I don't know if it applies here .. but "one day at a time" for now is better, for me at least :) ..


anyway, keep going ATLF ! and I'm right behind you ;)