Needing advice....

[AJP2008]

Hi there, AJP2008 here. Through several reasons I ended up fully relapsing onto looking at/downloading P from the internet after being clean for 165 days. Everything was going OK until I had some health issues over stress so began taking some medication which affected by performance in the bedroom, basically I couldn't 'finish off'. So had to 'finish off' on my own which I tried to do without P unsuccessfully. I am still on this medication for a few more weeks but I have now relapsed and want to quit again, but cannot. Two problems:

1) I have internet access and even though having cybersitter on laptop, and blocking of sites on the router, I can still get through to some stuff if I want to (I have IT Skills), plus I have an ipad which only gets stopped by the router blocks.

2) I can't stop thinking about P.

Please help, any advice would be good.

[stillinlove]

We can give you plenty of advise, but you are the only one that can take that first step and make the decision that this isn't the way you want to go.
I will tell you, that after being clean for awhile, and then you relapse, it is much much worse then the times before.
Get out of the 'poor me' syndrome of being ill, and make the decision that, although you have great IT skills (who doesn't when it comes to PA), that you will take
additional pre-cautions to assist you.
Try Covenant Eyes, or another program.
If the person you were in the bedroom with is a significant other, have that person go to the SO site.
You had a taste of recovery,if had in the back of your mind an end date for that recovery, then make a decision that there is no end date to recovery. You are transforming into a new, mature, healthy person. And if stress is what did you in, seek a therapist who knows about PA (interview them).
Gie yourself the 3 second rule, identify and watch for triggers, and place your attention on other things.
It's up to you.

[2frustrated]

Yes, there are a million things you can do to cope with this. Something that has been helping me over the last few days:

There are always little thoughts, some of them rather innocent, that are stepping stones to viewing p. Little fantasies, checking out women on the street, etc. If you make a conscious effort to stop these little things, the idea of p will be further removed.