The Battle Continues :)

[BestShot]

Hi Everybody,


It has been a while since I have written so I thought I would check in and see how all of you are doing as well as tell you how things are going with me.

As most of you know, I have not been keeping track of how long I have gone with out "P" or "M". It has been a long while now. Before I came here to TTF I had gone about 4 months with out any slips. I had a one day slip and then have been good since. By the way, that one slip is what brought me here to TTF. I guess that was about 3 months ago??? As I said, I have not kept track.

The urges had almost completely disappeared until the last couple of days. This morning they were fairly strong and that is what prompted me to come here and write. I thought that maybe by not writing for a while I had lost an advantage in the battle. Something about getting your thoughts and feelings out definitely helps keep the urges at bay.

Since the last time I wrote things have been going well. I have mad a very good friend here at TTF who is my accountability partner. We talk either in person or via messages each day. Sharing our thoughts, feelings, struggles and victories has been incredibly beneficial to both of us. As time has passed, we have discovered that we have a lot in common with regards to our addiction to "p" but also in other areas of our lives. The greatest benefit of having this person as my AP and friend is that I have gotten to the point where i can 't imagine letting him down. I can't fathom writing to him and telling him that I have slipped up and botched up my journey. He feels the same way. This has been a powerful motivator for both of us. If you do not have an AP I highly recommend you find somebody on TTF to partner up with.

I guess that's the big news....finding an AP.

I continue to feel very good about myself because I have admitted to myself that I have a problem and I am working very hard at fixing this problem. I hold my head up higher each day....less and less ashamed each day. Sure, I still have a problem, but who doesn't? It's being brave enough to recognize you have a problem and being strong enough to take action that is important.

Well, as predicted, I feel much better after writing. My urges have subsided. Time to move on with the rest of my day...gotta get some hot coffee first :)

Take care everybody!

Yours in the bond of healing!

BestShot