honesty

[tntang]

not only to my loved ones but to myselfi have been addicted to p in one form or another fo over 30 yearsi know nothing else to relax me i have ran to it in time of trouble and times of joy it has affected my relationships the way i think and in the things i do i have invested my time money and energy into something that gives nothing back and wasted a good share of my life and will waste the rest of it if i continual in this addiction even as i write this i know p is always there waiting for me and it always will be it it not evre going away it is only i who can stop me from viewing p to do thaat i have to learn to socialize problem solve inter act with others find new hobbys and intress in others words i have to change every thing and do some things i fear and others i am unsure about or know nothing about it seems in my mind easier to just give up but something inside me wants me to overcome this and that is why i am back

[Disillusioned]

Hey, Tntang,
I just saw your name in the chat room and I think you knew I was on line and asked if I was online too. I tried to respond, but I have only been in a chat room that one time when you came on too. I didn't realize at the time that the chat line was just to visit in a live group conversation and I thought it was for someone who needed immediate one to one attention with an advisor or moderator, so I got off, as I felt you probably needed to talk.
I don't even know if what I tried to send you via chat went tonight.
Just wanted you to know I was not being unfriendly. I am merely chat room challenged, as it is only something I have ever done once in my life, and I am not really sure how it works.
Wanted to say again, that I was glad that you had returned and glad that you are trying to get rid of this parasite called p that so destroys lives, lies, addicts, and breaks hearts. I hope you find the way to the better you that you are capable of becoming. I truly wish you the best, and if I ever learn how to work in the chat room, I'll stop by again and say hi.
Best wishes.
disillusioned
Just read your post above on honesty. It's tough being honest with yourself even with P, TnTang, but it is absolutely necessary if you are to get rid of this. You can't slack off. You have to keep on it. You have to find ways to spend your time and keep yourself busy so that you don't have a chance to get into this anymore. From what I have read, many PAs and Sos find getting into a physical activity program religiously seems to help. Releases some of the frustration, stimulates endorphins which help you feel better, not as high as the dopamine charge from P, but non-the-less a good sense of well-being. Keep writing your feelings here. Get in touch with them, be honest about them. You can do this with absolute safety at TTF. Others will encourage you. You will get to feel like you have made friends with folks here, yet never worry that you might run into them at the grocery store and an embarrassing conversation might ensue. I hope you find your way, TT, as the path is well-worn and there are others here that can tell you what helped them.

[tntang]

thank u dis i am suring your chatting skills will get better we can talk next time it was not important anyways thanks for your cocern

[Betterforever]

Honesty is very important and one of my biggest problems. I know it is related to this addiction but it was a problem before this was.
Be as honest as you can. You will probably let go of your denial in stages. I did. First I admitted that I was addicted and I had to stop. I thought that was it. I was still in denial about a lot of the effects this had on my life.