Guys Weekly Chat Group Announcement

[chasman62]

The first meeting of the "Weekly Guys Chat Group" took place this past Monday was lively and, we hope, beneficial to all those who took part in it. The hosts of this session (chasman62 and burnedout) would like to thank all those who dropped in on essentially no notice, and made the hour and a bit enjoyable and helpful. We got some great ideas about how to structure this session in the future and fully intend to incorporate them as we all help develop this forum for exchanging ideas, successes and struggles.

Our intent is that one or both of us will be present each Monday evening at 8pm Central US time to open the chatroom and welcome any and all guys who want to join us to talk in an honest and open manner about topics of concern, interest, and benefit to others. Virtual coffee and donuts will be provided! Our anticipated format will be that the first 5-10 minutes will consist of introductions and general 'bs' (we are still guys after all even if we are trying to get in touch with our feelings), and then there will be 40 minutes or so of discussion on a predetermined topic or question, followed by a final 5-10 minute wind-down period. If people want to stay and extend the life of the room that is fine too.

We only ask a few things. The intent of this room is to provide a safe place for members to talk honestly and openly. To enable that, we would ask that participants not give unsolicited advice to those who have chosen to share, and that the introduction of potentially controversial elements (eg religion and politics) into the discussion be avoided unless they directly relate to the issue at hand. None of us would be here if we didn't have growth to do as men and that is what this room seeks to help us all do. We ask all of you for your cooperation in that.

If the admins could possibly attach a sticky to this thread so that it can provide a place for suggestions about future topics or ideas for questions that the group could discuss that would be fantastic.

We look forward to seeing everyone in the chatroom on Monday night. If anyone has any questions please dont hesitate to send a PM to either myself (chasman62) or burnedout.

[chasman62]

So tomorrow we are going to try to tackle the concept of 'anger'. How did or do you use anger as a defense mechanism, as a tool for keeping people at arms length, as a weapon to avoid vulnerability or true resolution of conflict. I believe that for many of us learning to manage and defuse anger in a positive way is crucially important in breaking free from compulsive unhealthy behaviors. Anger is one of the most pernicious and pervasive feelings of addicted/compulsive individuals and one that must be tackled in any serious attempt at self improvement.

I saw an example of how irrational anger can ruin a potentially beneficial situation yesterday at my men's group meeting. There was a huge disagreement over a relatively trivial point of order which resulted in one person storming out of the meeting. For me it was both an illustration of the use of anger as a weapon to assuage ones feelings (we will never perhaps know what was eating at that individual but it surely wasn't the matter at hand), and how anger can shatter a comparatively vulnerable situation (such as the opportunity for openness and sharing). For me the meeting was ruined by the angry exchanges and I could not focus on the message being presented after the person had left the meeting.

Hope to see lots of you tomorrow night with thoughts and comments and ideas.

Chasman/Burnedout

[chasman62]

Just wanted to bump this up to the top so everyone can see it this afternoon!

Later

C

[StarPuppy]

Great sharing/discussion session

Lets keep it up!

[burnedout]

Last night's chat session on the topic of anger went well. It was very focused, and, I hope, useful to all who contributed. My question is, would participants like to continue this discussion next Monday? It seemed we had quite a lot to say on the subject. Or would you like to switch it up and talk about something else? One participant said the topic of inferiority/superiority might be good to discuss. This morning I also added to my running list the topic of jealousy (especially toward SOs) as a possible point of discussion. Let me know what you think, and thanks for joining us!

John

[FoolishMind]

So are these man chats to do with PA?

[chasman62]

FM:

The idea of the chat group is really to provide a forum for guys to express themselves openly about issues that are relevant to the underlying causes of compulsive behavior (and that would include PA), and how to break free from these problems and experience true personal growth.

I would love to have you join us although I recognize that the time difference makes that very difficult if not impossible.

Thanks for your interest.

Chas

[FoolishMind]

Haha Thanks Chas,

Why did I read that like..."FM Would love to have you join us, but would prefer it if you didnt"

All Good Chas, Keep up the good work, and do report back and let us know the successes, and of course dont keep any secrets if you crack the formula!

FM

[IN NEED OF HELP]

I love the sound of this meeting. I am going to try to make it when I can. So I am hoping to be joining you soon. At least I am going to give it my best to be there.

Gerald

[chasman62]

Love to have you join us Gerald. I know maybe the timing isnt perfect for you but if you can make it please do. Also if you have anything you think would be worth us spending discussing please let us know.

Chas