Stance on Web Filters

[rouby]

I am almost afraid of posting this thread because of the overwhelming thoughts of using a filter for our recoveries.
Even so, I would like to share another route:

I was looking around at RN when I came across a post by their founder, the late Coach Jon. He was replying to some SO about the use of a filter in her husbands recovery.

In summary, his thoughts are that filters delay our ability to take responsibility for our thoughts/actions. He likened it to a baseball not being thrown any curve balls because they are hard to hit. When that player comes across a curve ball pitcher- he is overmatched.

He felt a filter should be used if there are children in the home or if there is such a lack of self control that just turning on a computer creates stimili.

The problem he says is that often it is "game on" when there is a filter. I have found this to be true in my case. I know most if not all would scoff at this, but I think we will see some credence to this if we realize that sobriety is not our goal.

This is where I am finding myself these days. The 100 day thread can be a great motivator, but not a very good goal.
I may still decide to put a filter on, but I want it on for the right reasons.

Today is a day I normally act out. With a filter installed, I would either be in the "game" of trying to beat it or I would ignore my thoughts in my mind because the filter will not allow me to get P.

I feel I am able to understand why this day makes me more susceptible and I find myself stronger for it.

What thinks you?

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

From the SO point of view...

We don't have a filter on the computer any more. Perhaps I am naive in believing my husband about not needing one, but I don't think so.

If the PA needs a filter for the rest of their life, then I would seriously worry about their committment to recovery. But, the filter is important in the early stages of recovery, and is similar to an alcoholic removing all alcohol from the home. The filter helps break habits while the mind is catching up to the recovery plan. The filter also gives a chance to think about what is happening. How often do PAs say "I wasn't even thinking, it was like autopilot"? The filter removes this excuse. If you bypass the filter, obviously, you ARE thinking.

The filter gives the SO peace of mind. The filter is something the SO can see as a concrete step in recovery. It is not just words.

If the PA takes the time and effort to bypass a filter, especially after a significant amount of time in recovery, then I would question their committment. This is not habit or autopilot or anything but a conscious choice. Especially if the PA has gone through counselling, SA and/or other 12 step programs.

Summary: If a PA needs a filter forever, then that is a real warning sign about committment to recovery, but the filter is a good, if not essential tool, while the PA builds their mental tools against PA.

[rouby]

Thanks WONLM for your thoughts as I thought they were quite inspiring. I have chosen to go without one, although I may put one on without all of the loopholes (Such as a random password buried in the backyard)

Our TV has the adult channels blocked even though I created the password. I have found this to be a good solution for me as there is no "game" for me. It is just a reminder of where I do not want to go. I am one of those that do not struggle with surfing for inappropiate channels on tv.

This is the right path for me...

[jaceinla]

Personally web filters have helped me. I think they are useful to a certain extent...mainly at the start of recovery when the mind is thinking about nothing else but P and the strongest withdrawal symptoms arrive.

I do agree that taking down the web filter gives me more of a sense of responsibility. I now have to completely control myself and not rely on "straight balls vs curve balls".

I've used OpenDNS and loved it. I've started a new streak and will take down the filter probably after this upcoming weekend.