Night Owl OR Morning Person?

[stillandagain]

The following is a recent post in my journal. A reply I received lead me to post the topic here and hope for some dialogue. We'll see ...

Today Chiron wrote to Rockinastorm in Rock's Journal: When I've had no sleep is when I'm most vulnerable as well.

When I read this, I instantly knew that its the same for Beanhead. Yet, his pattern was to STAY up, to get very few hours sleep, playing video games, watching sports. He has said that, off and on in the many years of his PA, the late nights included P, MB and chatting, but thats his story to tell.

Mine is that, seeing Chiron's post, I wonder how prevalent this is among PA's in general. Are you/they night-owls by nature? I know Beanhead is. So is his mother, and his 4 brothers. When we wives are together, we all talk about this phenomenon in this family. But what is also becoming evident is the addictive thread that runs through these brothers-men. Addiction has taken various forms, but addiction also has a similar compulsive thread that binds the forms.

Beanhead is 13 years younger than me, which brings its own insecurity issues for me, SOME of the time. (most of the time we feel the same, actually!) But, I am also a morning person! He is not. We knew this difference at the beginning. We have worked with it. I try to stay up later sometimes, he goes to bed with me sometimes. We are working on compromising.

Ironically, my oldest daughter is like me in this way. A morning person, and therefore in bed no later than 11, usually earlier. Her husband is a nightowl, videogamer. She admits he also has issues with P. Am I noticing a thread, or making too much of it?

I am really just babbling here, but I also know that I am saying a lot, and that I will think deeply about this issue. Its not a new issue for us, but feels like a renewed realization, in light of Chiron's post.

Beanhead and I are trying to establish some healthier, shared habits since this LAST P discovery. We do yoga most MORNINGS! Usually no later than 6am! He goes to bed earlier, with me on most nights. This is a huge paradigm shift for him. I love that we are doing it together! For me, at 55, I am falling asleep on the couch by 9pm, after a long workday. I know that I need to compromise with "body rhythm" too - and I do. I don't always crash before dark! My part is that most weeknights, he goes to see his children and doesn't get home until fairly "late." I need to work on my part in this.

We are a work in progress in this regard.

[Rockinastorm]

I am a morning person who stays up late!

[rosie]

My husband is DEFINITELY a night owl, but because he has to work early, he tries to get to bed earlier. We have always gone to bed together, actually, in the last 10 years I cant even count on one hand the amount of time we have not been to bed together. At the height of his P things were different, HE was going to bed earlier and I was up late working all night. He would get up early and watch P I think, I am not sure, also when I left the house :(

Before we met, he was nearly nocturnal.. awake all night, and would sleep during the day. His lifestyle supported this. I think more than this being a common theme in PA's, I think maybe some PA's tend to have an isolating personality type, at least, that is true of my husband. He isn't the mr fix it type of guy who is energetic and going hiking and extreme sports.. he is more of a slow-paced intellectual who is a homebody. I wonder more if its the personality type attracted to P .

I love both night and day, I am both. LOL, I can stay up very late and get up early and be ready to go straight away. I hate waking up all groggy, I want to get in to things and get moving! But I do love the peacefulness at night.. I love the space, I love not having people call or pop in or kids to contend with sometimes. I think that's why I gravitate towards staying up late.