First Post

[en_tiger]

This is my first time posting here. I need some serious help. I've known that I've been addicted to pornography for a long time, and i've wanted to stop for just as long, but, as you all know, that isn't easy.
My big problem is that I keep getting worse. Somehow - and it kills me to even think about this - I came across a 'teen modeling' site earlier this year. There are lots of these sites, and all of the girls are all under age; some aren't even adolecent. Eventually these led to nude sites with girls of the same age. Every once in a while a real child pornography picture would show up. I would completly shocked and disgusted. Eventually I could look at those pictures and not be shocked. Every once in a while I would enjoy them; I would look for them sometimes.

This kills me.

I am passionitly against child molestation and pornography. More passionit than most things, but the addiction is stronger than I am. In this board I've read a lot of you talking about 'the hunt' being the big thrill, and that's exactly it. I don't care about the pictures. It's the thrill of finding them. The pictures even make me mad. I hate seeing that. Those are pictures of children getting their lives ruined and I'll just passively look through them.

I'm young, only 22, and I've been married for a year and a half. I've read what you all have said about this addiction tending to come with being smart, and I agree. My life is just beginning and it's moving along fast. If I don't get this stupid addiction under control, it's going to destroy me. The thought of getting in trouble with the law over this is unbearable. My entire life would gone. I would have to start over already.

Is anybody else out there having this problem. Even a little. I would really love to keep eachother accountable. even if I'm the only one, I would really (more than I could say) appreciate someone to keep me accountable. I'll be checking this post for any responses.

Thank you for listening. I can't tell you how great it feels to finally say that; Even if I'm only writing it.

[god_save_me]

If your feelings are as strong as you describe them to be them it would not be a tough job. You are at the right place because most of us have been there done that and now we are in the same boat, mate. Keep posting and keep fighting against your own demons and don't let them overhaul you.

[en_tiger]

Things haven't been going good but being here it does make me feel a lot better. I can write about everything i feel like and i know people would disbelieve me or consider me to be a heretic. I have decided that i have had enough i will start writing about how i started getting over my urges now. So here i go, i would be starting my porn free life here on. Enough of teen modelling i would probably use one of the links in the child porn thread posted. This is pathetic people are lured into something which is just not justified.