Time to Step up to the Plate

[RichBlack]

It is decision time. I am fed up with fooling myself, going through the phases without actually making much progress at all. It is time to get serious about recovery. At this point, I can either work on recovery or not. I am tired of stopping one ritual and going on to another. I blocked porn using k9. Well that is great. But then I find something else to use. I am not getting any better, I am just changing from one form of the drug to another. And it disgusts me. Mb has gotten worse. And I continue to use anything I can get my hands on. I won't sit on the fence any longer. I have to decide what I want and I have to do it. There is only one option: I am going to pull myself out of the hole. No goofing around.
Won't pretend any longer. It is time to work.

Rich

[RichBlack]

It just needs to happen. I thought about my acting out today. No it wasn't porn, but that is little comfort. It has literally become a game to me: figuring out what I can get, what k9 doesn't block. I am going to detox, starting tomorrow. It has to happen

Rich

[Phil413]

It is decision time. I am fed up with fooling myself, going through the phases without actually making much progress at all. It is time to get serious about recovery. At this point, I can either work on recovery or not. I am tired of stopping one ritual and going on to another. I blocked porn using k9. Well that is great. But then I find something else to use. I am not getting any better, I am just changing from one form of the drug to another. And it disgusts me. Mb has gotten worse. And I continue to use anything I can get my hands on. I won't sit on the fence any longer. I have to decide what I want and I have to do it. There is only one option: I am going to pull myself out of the hole. No goofing around.
Won't pretend any longer. It is time to work.

Rich

Love your attitude, man. And I can see that you've realized that P isn't the problem, it's just one of the ways the problem expresses itself. Lust is the problem, and there are all sorts of non-P ways to act out lust. By going after lust you're going after the root of the tree. I wish you the best of luck.

Phil

[Daniel]

RB,

I know the feeling and I applaud your zeal for not being willing to settle for anything less than Zero Tolerance.

I have found the biggest challenge being the small rationalizations, which only go from bad to worse.

To give the enemy an inch is to give a mile, alas, the eyes are never satisfied.

But we can CHOOSE to do the right thing, and we are and we will.

Hang Tough,

Daniel

[2frustrated]

Good! It's in the attitude, not the discrete actions, that recovery is driven.