Winning the small battles creates a great foundation for recovery

[tru2myself]

What I'm about to say has been either said before or hinted to countless times at TTF but it's so important that redundancy is forgivable and even worthwhile. Having struggled with this addiction for 12 years, I can now see patterns in my destructive behavior. Unmistakable patterns in my behavior that I'm sure you all also have dealt with at some point in your struggle.

One particular pattern I'd like to discuss is the ability to fight those short 15 minute bouts that arise from time to time throughout your day. We all love to discuss our victories over our lengthy, hardcore bouts that lasted an hour or so. It's understandable. These stories are inspirational to fellow PAs and destroying major bouts signifies strong commitment and a huge step in the right direction.

With that said, winning major bouts is great but many of us, including myself, will lose most of our battles during those miniature 10 - 20 minute waves of despair. During this small wave of desire I'll experience the usual suspects that lead to a relapse: thoughts of old P I've seen, anxiety associated with the fight itself, thoughts about how wonderful the relapse can be, etc....

After the wave comes to an end, I can feel my mind slowly defusing the situation. I feel my anxiety and desire start to fade until I'm "stable enough" again with my thoughts and actions. To conquer this war we all need to learn how to develop strong defense against these short-term temptations.

About a half hour ago I had a small bout that lasted about 10 minutes. I didn't give in #:-s, but it did take a huge amount of restraint during that 10 minutes. Now, I'm sitting here thinking how awful I would have felt if I did. From now on I'll make it a habit to keep remind myself that the urge is fleeting. So many times in the past I've failed because I forgot to simply remind myself that "this feeling is only temporary. Don't give in and it'll be all over before you know it."

What I discussed is certainly not new but I thought I'd share in case anyone needs reminding. HOLD ON PEOPLE!!!! Sometimes fifteen minutes of discomfort is enough time to save you from spending hours in pain.

[2frustrated]

An excellent description of the short bout. It is quite disorienting, and does indeed take a while to restabilize. I appreciate the reminder.

[UpLifted]

Thank you T2MS,

It is so important to remember that winning the small battles can be just as important as winning the big ones. And good job at resisting your small bout. It feels good to know you can do it. Keep up the hard work and stay strong.

--UpLifted

[Daniel]

Try,

Yes, excellent reminder and thank you.

Small victories enable larger ones. It could be the 10-minute mind assault will prepare you for something you never saw coming ... Only having time to react and training up for it now to ensure you will react in the right way.

Good stuff!

Daniel

[Hammatime Fool]

Congrats on fighting the good fight, and winning. I've been struggling with this problem for a significant portion of my life, though didn't recognize it for what it was until recently. The mental control is the toughest thing so far. It's so tough to control what thoughts you have and how far you let them develop. It is a good reminder though that 1 quick slip causes hours and hours of pain later. That reminder is always welcome and a necessary redundancy.

[tru2myself]

Congrats on fighting the good fight, and winning. I've been struggling with this problem for a significant portion of my life, though didn't recognize it for what it was until recently. The mental control is the toughest thing so far. It's so tough to control what thoughts you have and how far you let them develop. It is a good reminder though that 1 quick slip causes hours and hours of pain later. That reminder is always welcome and a necessary redundancy.

Thank you! Come Wednesday I'll be free of P for 2 weeks. I can certainly relate to your sudden realization that P viewing has transformed from "something you enjoy to do" into "something you enjoy and can't stop doing". The line between viewer and addict is often too blurry for us to see when crossing. One day, for whatever reason, you attempt to not view P and masturbate, but find yourself giving into unable to simply so no. This is when you've crossed into the addict zone. This is when you've officially created an addiction.

Looking back, I REALLY wish I could've stopped myself before I crossed into the redzone. I wish at some point in my past I had found a healthier, natural way to feel that "rush" in life. I wish I had picked up playing an instrument, art creation, photography, or even video game playing on a more consistent basis(even though I still game and even recently purchased WOW to help distract me during my urges for P). But no...... I chose freaking P. What a mistake!!!

What's done is done though so the only thing left for me is to move forward in a better direction.