Damn, it's hard ...

[ATraversLesFlammes]

I'm a few days away from reaching my first month without PA.

To be totally honnest, i was not 100% clean, since i've been look to undressed women: some days ago, i was very bored and felt an overwhelming urge to look at something, i felt looking at some softcore was ok. Was it ? No, it caused a noctural emission, which was sick, and i'm still disgusted of it. Plus, now i'm feeling the urge to look at softcore anytime i'm on the comp (which's a lot of time). Any addiction is bad, addiction to watching naked women, even not involving sexual acts ain't good, but for a PA it's even worse cause it leads back to P 100% sure.

The problem with the addiction, is that it fullfills any hole. Anytime you feel bored, stressed, about anything in your life. Going back to that addiction is the quickest way to feel better at the moment.

If it wasn't for this forum it would be much harder. I don't know if going "cold turkey" is the best way to fight the addiction. First, you must understand why you got into the addiction, and why you always go back to it.

In my case, i got into this addiction, because i did not have relationship with girls in my young age, and P fullfilled this hole.
I always go back to P, trough softcore content. I never go back straight to P, cause that disgusts me. I'm just looking for the women, but it always bring me back to P. It's easy to convince myself how bad P is, no doubt. Now, about women in bikini and stuff, it's much harder. Still for a PA, it's a sure way to fall back into the addiction.

Well, i just said going "cold turkey" wasn't the best way. Of course, one must avoid any content involving sexual acts. But it's not only about will. The war is on multiple fronts.
What is it that makes you so bored and depressed that you always have to sit in front of your damn computer and look at naked women?
Why do you prefer looking at some content of people doing what you could yourself do ?

Going "cold turkey" is absolutely necessary but not suficient. Even if, you stay away from P for months, if you don't work out the reasons that first got you into it, and that subsequently, brought you back to it, there's no way you can escape from it forever.

In my own case, i got way too much "idle time", with nothing to do, i gotta work this out, to fullfil my time Myself, with much healthier activities. Another thing, i trully like beautiful women, which in itself ain't bad, i guess i should focus my attention toward my girlfriend. Seems so obvious, but anything in the real world, takes some energy, more than just fronting your comp'.

Anyway, F*** P, i'm still struggling.

[castaway16]

Hello ATraverseLesFlammes .. it's really good,and important, that you haven't gave in .. no matter how close you were to a relapse ..

and about the boredom thing .. we all know that for us,recovering PA's .. running to the computer is not the best solution when we get bored..
Try to develop another strategy to deal with your boredom .. maybe just go out walking to let your mind relax and reflect on the matter..

glad you made it this far .. keep it up :)

[want2change]

One month is a huge accomplishment - tomorrow will be a week for me and already I notice a huge increase to my personal productivity. Also, my wife seems more willing to talk about what pleases me - in orther words for her to help me with these fantasies - not making all of them come true, but rather acting some of them out together in the bedroom. The only history I've been deleting from my computer is this website - but it's the first site I go to when I get into work and the last one before I leave. I know it's hard - sex is everywhere - billboards, even innocent websites have links to something else to feed the PA. I can't even walk through the mall without tons of thoughts racing through my mind. So I try to avoid them best I can, continue with counselling and get bad into a healthy routine - exercise, proper eating, go to bed early, read more, etc. Keep up the good work. It's amazing the changes I've experienced already - who knows what I've been missing all these yrs!

[FoolishMind]

Hi ATLF,

You have quite rightly said, what has been agreed many times on this site, that acknowledgment of the addiction is the first huge step. You must then analyse and understand why you feel you have got into this, and when you are weakest and what are your triggers. By understanding this better, arms you well to make your journey easier to combat the temptations.

That said, reading your post, naturally you are still finding it hard, have you actually fully understood why you got into P?

And have you fully understood what your weak times, and triggers are?

In the space of your first month, what have you done to to change your routine / activities.

Also has your partner commented on a change in you?

FM

[castaway16]

Hi ATraverseLesFlammes , Where are you buddy ??

please keep us informed about your progression !! it's really helpful for both of us (you and the readers)...

hope you're doing quite well man .. Good Luck!

[HalfPint]

Hey man, just wanted to say this. I am 100 days porn and masturbation free, yet I've had 3 nocturnal emissions. Its your body's way of releasing sexual tension and sperm that have built up, theres nothing wrong with it. Also, don't beet yourself up over a slip up, we're human we are bound to make mistakes. Whenever you come to a decision theres 2 paths you can take, you can make the right one or the wrong one. and you know, don't let the wrong ones get you down. There is a reason for making wrong decisions and thats to help us to learn. Learn from your mistakes, don't let your mistakes get to you.

[Larry]

No, it caused a noctural emission, which was sick, and i'm still disgusted of it.

Don't be.

Your prostate fills up and the fluids have to come out so more can be produced. This is just natures way. Emissions can happen from one week to one month (or more depending on age), on average. I have heard that for a healthy and fit male under 25, the average is every two weeks without masturbation.

The equivilent is having to pee. It just is. So don't beat yourself up over it. The issue with porn addiction isn't natural body processes, it is the distorted picture of relationships that porn causes.

Larry