Lately.

[ReadytoQuit]

Thanks 2Frustrated I will definitely check those out, and thanks everyone for taking the time to read this. I have to admit that my addiction has escalated before where the images I've sought after have become harsher than a P magazine you buy at a store . After reading a book though, it really made me aware of the consequences that a dangerous escalation can have on my life and others around me, and I have to say that I'm not willing to put all that is on the table at risk. There have been many times when I have thought about it, but that is something that I will not allow myself to do. Now that this escalation has decreased and I am not the least bit compromising in allowing it to rise up again, this is where I am.

Anxiety and stress is something that I have a huge problem with, and I've known for a long time that I need a healthy outlet for it.

"When you feel anxious, find a way to accept it (easier said than done)."

This is incredibly true.

This year is probably the year that I have learned most about myself and this addiction. Although a lot of failures, I can still see a vast improvement from where I was, say 2 or 3 years ago. I could hardly go a day before and this year, many attempts were made where I accomplished 4 or 5 days. That feels like a big step for me. I'm still young and it feels like this year I really matured. I now know things such as what happens chemically in the brain, and other discoveries, such as that P and MB actually make me more stressed now and there really is little to no relief from it now. It feels like I have all this knowledge I can turn to now. Right now, I have a positive attitude towards recovery

That line. "It's time". I have to say, that really blew my mind. I didn't do anything last night, and am not planning on to tonight.

[Hammatime Fool]

It's currently ruining mine. I'm trying to own up to the things I've done to my SO, and they are terrible, horrible, things. She's having a LOT of trouble even seeing who I really am after the things I've done.

Just take it from someone who has been there and is paying for it now, the escalation phase of the addiction is really really dangerous.