Hello

[kwade]

I'm new to this, but I needed to find people who understand my problem and are there to help hold me accountable. I tried going to a comfort circle at my church. The Sponser was there the first time I went but the next two times there was no one there. I have hurt my wife with this addiction. This is the one thing I can no longer tolerate. The sad thing about my addiction is that I seem to do it when I get bored. It's not all the time. As for my promise. I have recommitted myself in prayer. And for those times that I'm alone at home. If I feel those urges, I promise to leave the house and get away from my internet. Now that it is warm again that part should be easy. I have 3 lakes within 15 minutes of my house. And I will post here every week to let you know my progress.

[LAman24]

Hi Kwade,

Welcome to the forum. Thank you for joining and telling your story. Everyone here relates to what you wrote. Its not easy and takes a lot of courage to make the effort in joining a forum like this one. I congratulate you on your accomplishment of overcoming the first step of recovery.

I'd like to comment on two things you said. 1.) looking at porn when you are bored. Dude, this is my life story. I'm a grad student and I am OFTEN bored with reading, writing, or dealing with professors. You're not alone in this one. The urge will go away right away, or possibly ever completely. But you can do some things that make it easier. If you are bored, then take up a hobby. I strongly urge you to post on this forum asap, ESPECIALLY when you have the urge. Part of any addiction is that the craving spikes then gradually fades away. When you are "spiking" then acknowledge it and know that all it is is an urge that can be overcome. Post on this forum whenever you get the urge. Everyone here is really nice and has the same problem- addiction. So if you are bored, know that it is at that time that you are most susceptible to looking at porn. Knowing this will help you understand how to develop a strategy of overcoming your addiction. Again, post on this site anytime and as much as possible.

Second, it seems like you completely understand why you should quit. That is very important, and in my opinion, one of the biggest steps in overcoming an addiction. You've kept enough secrets probably about your addiction, so perhaps your wife can help you in your addiction. Don't rely on her to make you better, but she needs to understand your addiction to help you. Understand that you are not a freak, but you have an addiction. EVERY addiction needs a support group to overcome it. Use this forum, your wife, and new hobbies to overcome it. Make a plan of what will minimize your chances of looking at porn. I'm a student; so now I only study at school. Not only do I study MORE (since I'm not distracted with anything), It prevents me from even having the urge of looking at porn (looking at porn in a public place would be rediculus haha).

We are all here to hear your story and help you along the way. Thank you for posting your story!

[sarerah]

I'm glad that I finally found a place like this as well. Don't forget that we arn't alone.

[dave42]

Quoting from you: "And for those times that I'm alone at home. If I feel those urges, I promise to leave the house and get away from my internet. Now that it is warm again that part should be easy. I have 3 lakes within 15 minutes of my house." Great plan! I wish I had 3 lakes nearby, but we can all take a walk! Good luck!

[davids]

Hi kwade i'm glad you are here, and hope you continue to post. I have also hurt my wife with my use of p and came to the place of confession and shame. Even with my deep desire to change, I still have urges to slip back for just one more look, but that means defeat and needing to start over again, and I just can't do that again.

I believe that by posting your thoughts here, you will be more aware of your own inner thoughts and desires, as well as knowing that you are helping others. You are not alone in your addiction, and there are many here who are struggling with the same addiction you are, I am one of them.

Its sad that your comfort group didn't work out, there are many more who need to get their addiction into the open, one stat is that 50% of christian men use p, how many came to your group?

i'm on day 22 of being p free, and wish you the best on your journey here.
d