Celibacy Contracts

[Rowlf]

One thing that helped me considerably with my recovery was a 'celibacy contract'

This was raised on the forums by Farmer

To start my recovery I wrote a celibacy contract:
No masturbation for 30 days
No masturbation until I have recovery plan in place
No viewing porn forever, this means viewing porn to masturbate with or downloading porn for future masturbation.

I picked up on the idea and also used it and for me it allowed me a way out of the maze of P.

One thing that I didn't know when I started was how much MB was affecting me. Many people on TTF were committing to never using MB again. That for me didn't sit right, yet MB was still too powerful a force for me to control in my life.

Using this idea of a celibacy contract enabled me to make a firm commitment to no MB, but for a limited time. I also used 30 days as my contract length. At the end of that 30 days I still had no clear idea of which way I wanted to live, and was not ready to try MB, so I started a second 30 day contract and then again until I knew inside what decision was right for me to make.

I continued to live my celibacy contract for 120 days. By the end of this time, for me, I knew I was in a different place with respect to the addiction. I think now that this time allowed my brain chemistry to settle a lot. (see this post on brain chemistry)

For myself I decided to resume MB, but it's been in a totally different way since then - with much more awareness of the present moment and feelings in the moment and no images. In fact MB usage is now very rare....

I think the idea of a celibacy contract can be a very useful tool in the journey of recovery from PA....

[spalmer69]

Thank You Rowlf
I think this is a great idea and one that I have often thought about but have always managed to talk myself out of.

I think I will sit down and write up something similar for myself. That no MB at all will be hard however. I have been doing it less and less but to imagine 30 days without letting off some steam....seems like the ultimate challenge. gulp.

Thank You much for your post :)

[castaway16]

Thanks for reminding us of that, Rowlf. :)