Important steps and tools in recovery process?

[Alika]

Though it differs from individual to individual, I am wondering about what the minimum steps and tools to a permanent recovery are, and would appreciate any and all personal input based on your own experiences.

What I am looking for is along the lines of but not limited to:

• which steps have you taken (TTF, therapy, litterature, support groups, journals, etc.) in order to enter recovery?
• what has worked best for you (and why)?
• what could you have done without (and why)?

In case you have had relapse(s), please state what you did different, which new tools (if any) you began using after the relapse to avoid it reoccurring. And maybe also throw in how long you've been p free.

Please view this not just as a question from a SO to the PAs, but as a compilation that can be used as a reference guide for new PAs and their SOs.

I do know that there are articles and various posts describing the generalized good advice, so I am looking for the measures the individual TTF members have taken.

Thank you in advance for any contribution to this thread :)

- Alika

[FoolishMind]

Yet another great post Alika! which with good responses will prove to be beneficial to many.

To save duplication I can answer this with two previous posts I wrote:

1) This is a post I wrote when I was 58 days p free and wanted to share why I thought I had got this far - click here for post

2) This is my actual strategy I started with, that I first shared with Rocketman - click here for post

Steps, decisions, and attitude to me are key, and if you get that right at the begining you cant go wrong. If you make a mistake, its more than likely you havent taken the right steps, you made wrong decisions, or you havent focussed your attitude correctly.

FM

[JenMac]

Great thread Alika! Thank you!

FM, What great posts you made about your strategies! Very helpful for others who are just beginning this process! Thank you for sharing! It's hard to get around to reading everything that is available on this site. Sometimes we may miss some of the best information just because there is so much to read!

Thanks again!
Jenn

[Daniel]

1. Came clean with Mrs. Daniel; Told the whole story from the beginning
2. Ditched having my own laptop
3. Sought counsel from pastor at church as a couple
4. Installed internet activity software at home
5. Cut way back on overall online time
6. Discovered and became active at TTF
7. Actively worked on the thoughtlife; ongoing
8. Told a small group of people at church as a group
9. Shared my story with a large group (+100) of men only at a church retreat
10. Told selected family members of my issue
11. Told selected close friends of my issue
12. Learned the practice of ongoing honesty with Mrs. Daniel
13. Lesson learned to not compromise on skating; to look at the issue in black-and-white terms; beware of rationalization(s)

Each of these points has been detailed in my journal at various times, near when they occurred...

Very good and thought-provoking question Alika!

Daniel