how to escape lust images

[StarPuppy]

I know this have been bought up once but i am gonna ask again

I currently have issues with women dressing skimpy(such as tight shorts, short skirts, tubetops) and sometimes they dress like that during Church services but my friend says that God wants them to dress their best but if you look at them with lust, it is you who have sinned. But i feel that a lady should be proper dressed and not provoking lust from guys

I know i am not supposed to be looking their figure and dressing or let alone have lust thoughts (hey thats a cute and sxy girl..wonder what she would look like)

God has said that if one looks at another women with lustful thoughts, he has committed adultery. And i sure do not want to break His rules but its hard..any ideals on how to resolve this issue

I know the problem would be me being closed minded but i would like to hear on comments

[QueenofHearts]

This one is interesting...

I'm an athiest, but I don't think it's appropriate to dress the way your describing in church or anywhere else really. When girls wear revealing clothes, or hardly any clothes at all then I think they are attracting negative attention from men in general.

I'm pretty conservative in what I wear, but that is just how I am. I don't feel the need to flaunt my assets, to me the man I am with is the one who gets those rewards.

I do think that men naturally do notice women more than vice versa to some degree. I can fully acknowledge when I see a beautiful girl or goodlooking guy, but I don't bring sexual thoughts into the mix...it's just like "oh, that person is pretty" etc. Attaching sexual images or thoughts to an observation is normal to a man? I'm not sure, I've never been a man, nor ever made it into a man's head.

I saw an interview with Cristina Aguilera talking about how she dresses in revealing clothes to liberate herself, saying that men don't control her sexuality and she doesn't do it for men. I don't know if I buy that, first of all it gives the wrong message to people immediately, second it DOES attract negative attention from men, and third of all I don't think it's liberating at all....she's now stuck with a label of being "dirty" just like how she promoted herself.

Anyway, maybe I'm old fashioned but I really think that dressing fairly conservatively, and holding yourself in a certain way is liberating because you aren't influencing people by your sexuality and everyone is forced to see you for the person you are, instead of the body parts you choose to flaunt.

[Charly22]

I agree. Women dressing in such ways does bring negative attention. But the same way you have lessons to learn about not lusting after such things....these women have a lesson to learn too. And they will....don't doubt it. Notice how it is the young women who think its ok? For the most part....we don't see older women dressing like this. They've grown up.....know better.....

Maybe you could view them as "yet to learn their lesson"..........

[StarPuppy]

Thanks ladies, I have to state firstly,i have even issue with girls wearing gym shorts walking around, its hot in asia thus there is such a trend but i can't help at looking at their slim figure and slender legs

I wonder its me being narrow minded or its the effects of P

[maggie]

I've tried to explain to my adolescent sons that just because a girl dresses provocatively, this doesn't mean she is looking to or willing to hook up.

Most young girls are desperately trying to attract males attention, not to be with them, but to prove to themselves that they are pretty or attractive.

Men, besides working out, or wearing a toupee, have very few ways to enhance or change their appearance, and a man wearing tight shorts in a church or a mall, would be comical !

Females struggle and compete daily in their quest to look prettier. They use strong chemicals on their hair to bleach it blonde or to straighten it, or to curl it, they apply lipsticks to color and now plump up their lips, they line their eyes with black pencils or liners and colored shadows, they glue on false eyelashes with strong adhesives to make their eyes appear larger, and they also work out at the gym, obsessively diet and fret about their weight, and then add in the compulsive clothes shopping and push up bras and you have basically a cosmetically constructed person, not a natural beauty.

I think if males realized that females go to these extremes in hair, makeup and dress, just to validate that they are attractive to others, they could see the sad aspect to it. The lack of confidence in themselves, as a worthwhile person that people are going to like and want to be with, without all the fix up routine.

[KingofHearts]

I concur. I think it's incredibly sad that a lot of girls and indeed women feel the need to go to those lengths in order to be attractive to men. I can't help feeling that if these measures do end up succeeding in getting the attention they're after, the people who are giving them the attention are people they should be steering clear of.

I remember having a conversation with a girl years ago, and she was saying how she needs to be skinny, because if she's at a bar and she's near a girl who is skinnier, guys will approach the skinnier girl first. My response to that was that, if a guy is only interested in your waist size, why would you want to spend any time with them anyway?

I think I've kind of gone off topic from the original thread, so with that in mind I will say that on the one hand, girls shouldn't feel the need to grab that sort of attention, and it's sad that they do. On the other hand, I've encountered a lot of guys who seem to think that if a girl dresses provocatively, she is "asking for it", so to speak, and that's disgusting. A person is a person.

[StarPuppy]

I've tried to explain to my adolescent sons that just because a girl dresses provocatively, this doesn't mean she is looking to or willing to hook up.

Most young girls are desperately trying to attract males attention, not to be with them, but to prove to themselves that they are pretty or attractive.

Men, besides working out, or wearing a toupee, have very few ways to enhance or change their appearance, and a man wearing tight shorts in a church or a mall, would be comical !

Females struggle and compete daily in their quest to look prettier. They use strong chemicals on their hair to bleach it blonde or to straighten it, or to curl it, they apply lipsticks to color and now plump up their lips, they line their eyes with black pencils or liners and colored shadows, they glue on false eyelashes with strong adhesives to make their eyes appear larger, and they also work out at the gym, obsessively diet and fret about their weight, and then add in the compulsive clothes shopping and push up bras and you have basically a cosmetically constructed person, not a natural beauty.

I think if males realized that females go to these extremes in hair, makeup and dress, just to validate that they are attractive to others, they could see the sad aspect to it. The lack of confidence in themselves, as a worthwhile person that people are going to like and want to be with, without all the fix up routine.

I rather be friends with a humble girl who is kind and understanding, its so sad what media has done to all of us

[StarPuppy]

I concur. I think it's incredibly sad that a lot of girls and indeed women feel the need to go to those lengths in order to be attractive to men. I can't help feeling that if these measures do end up succeeding in getting the attention they're after, the people who are giving them the attention are people they should be steering clear of.

I remember having a conversation with a girl years ago, and she was saying how she needs to be skinny, because if she's at a bar and she's near a girl who is skinnier, guys will approach the skinnier girl first. My response to that was that, if a guy is only interested in your waist size, why would you want to spend any time with them anyway?

I think I've kind of gone off topic from the original thread, so with that in mind I will say that on the one hand, girls shouldn't feel the need to grab that sort of attention, and it's sad that they do. On the other hand, I've encountered a lot of guys who seem to think that if a girl dresses provocatively, she is "asking for it", so to speak, and that's disgusting. A person is a person.

I agree with your convo with a girl, its true if people approached girls for their figure, we guys are shallow

[Mefree]

I've thought about this subject a number of times, and while I could go off with some rant, I'll just cut to the core.

Ultimately, how some women dress is no concern of mine, and while I agree with what is being said about our culture and the media, I don't think any of that is about to change, and so- in response to your initial question, SP- the best way I know to escape images is let them go immediately if they arise, and to avert my eyes if I see anything that might be a trigger.

[StarPuppy]

Thanks Mefree, I think its kinda hard because try walking downtown on a weekend, its hard to avert eyes but somehow i feel that we should appreciate beauty but somehow i feel that its guilty that we look at their exterior beauty at first glance but not understanding that a beauty can yet be a beast