Anyone who is not against masturbation?

[dave42]

Hello Everyone:

I am working hard to stay away from porn (2 week anniversary today: Yay!), but I'd like to hear from people who are not against masturbation. I don't want to create a divisive mood, and I absolutely don't want to engage in debate. If you say that for you giving up masturbation is important, then I completely respect that. I don't have a problem with masturbation, it's porn that is my problem. I really would like to hear from guys who have the same perspective. By the way, I've just lied to my partner about how I spent something like 1000 dollars. I said I frittered it away on coffee, snacks, and on books, but in reality, I spent the money on online chat rooms. I feel very guilty and a bit depressed. I don't think I can tell my partner the truth -- at least not for now. I know that that sounds (and is) wrong. Any words of encouragement would come in handy right about now.

Thanks, guys!

[Dominus]

Dave, you may find it interesting to read this thread http://www.throughtheflame.org/forum/showthread.php?t=179

[seeker]

I'm in your camp Dave. To the extent that MB alone doesn't interfere with your relationship I believe that it is a relatively harmless stress relief that you should indulge in from time to time.

However, if you find yourself doing it multiple times a day and preferring it to intimacy with your partner then you have a problem. I should know because I've been there myself. I am P free since 2/11 however I have indulged in MB daily for the past 10 days and respect myself less each time.

[dave42]

Thanks, Seeker. I don't think it interferes with my relationship, but it's a good thing to keep in mind.

all the best, Dave 42

[HalfPint]

Hey dave. I hope everything turns out with you and your wife. I know that the "cleanup" after trying to get over looking at porn is difficult. I'm still not 100% done with mine. I haven't talked with my family about it. I don't feel the need to, but I think it will help and provide a little closure. I would like to encourage you to talk to your wife about the money. I'm no expert, and I've never had a relationship (I haven't yet had a girlfriend even and I'm saving that for after college), but I do have some experience with lies and with money. My mom and dad for years had a relationship built on lies and money. For years my parents lied about things and used money wrong. Today my family is in extreme debt because of it, and my parents still don't have the best relationship. It is getting better though, and the reason that it is, is because they told each other the truth, they told my siblings and I the truth, and are doing better with money. The storm only gets worse before the silver lining. Its working out with my parents because they still do, kind of, love each other. They want to stay together for me and my siblings and because they believe its the right thing to do. If this is the path you decide to take I hope that everything goes well for you. I definitely would hate to see anything happen to anybody.

On the subject of the masturbation. I just felt like I should tell you why I'm so apposed to it. My reason for quitting masturbation along with porn is because 1, I do believe its a sin, but thats just my belief. 2, Its not so much the action but what it takes to make it happen. The images, the thoughts that I have to bring into my mind in order for masturbation to take place and the images and thoughts that take place during masturbation make me lust over and over. I tend to use the images that I saw in porn and the literature that I read when pictures didn't seem to work. A guy from my church once talked to me about it. They said this, and this is from a Christian perspective, no intentions of shoving the believe on you if you don't believe it: "Its unclear to anyone if masturbation is really a sin, but in order to masturbate, most people need to lust, most people need to bring images into their heads to prepare them for it, and to aid them along the way, and that lust, those images and words are a sin, so theres a reason to stay away from it". Thats one of my reasons I stay away from it. I respect you whatever your believe is, however.

Like I said before, I hope everything turns out good for you in your journey against porn and I hope everything turns out good for you with your wife.

[cyberpunk]

Personally, I want to be rid of both. For me masturbation leads to pornography and pornography leads to masturbation.

Also, the thoughts I have when I mb, are just like the thoughts I have when I look at P, except they often involve women I know in real life doing the actions I see in P. Whether it's on the computer screen or in my head I guess it's still P.

[dave42]

Thanks a bunch, Halfpint. I sure appreciate your response. Good luck to you and your family!

[dave42]

Cyberpunk: Thanks for your input. This gives me something to think about. All the best, Dave42

[Dominus]

I think that Halfpint is probably on a right track there, it would be difficult to masturbate without thinking explicit things, and those explicit images then would just cause the images (be them real or created by your mind) to become more deeply entrenched in your mind, which in turn leads to an gradual alteration of your thought processes. Like my Granny used to say "Too much sex is bad for you... Share it!"

[HalfPint]

I think that Halfpint is probably on a right track there, it would be difficult to masturbate without thinking explicit things, and those explicit images then would just cause the images (be them real or created by your mind) to become more deeply entrenched in your mind, which in turn leads to an gradual alteration of your thought processes. Like my Granny used to say "Too much sex is bad for you... Share it!"

yea . . . lol . . . thats exactly what I meant to say, however my mind couldn't think of those long complicated words. :P

Also I like the quote from your granny, thats awesome.