New to Forum

[sickandtired]

First, I want to thank whoever set up this forum...now I know I'm not the only one with a PA. I was introduced to P when I was about twelve and have been viewing it ever since then. I have tried so many times (and I mean SO MANY times) only to fail over and over again. That's the thing I hate about this PA; I hate failing. I hate the void it puts between me and God. I hate the feeling that I'm cheating on my wife (not literally), but anytime I look at another woman in that way and MB, it makes me feel like I am. P makes me short-tempered....and I really want to stop. I'm just really sick and tired of thinking about P all the time. When I stop for the whole 2 or 3 days, I feel great, but then something triggers it in my mind. A VS magazine. Some of the outfits you see women wearing, etc. That's what is so hard about PA, is that there are so many triggers all around us. It's in the media, on our streets, at the grocery store and of course the Internet, which by the way, I work at home...ON THE COMPUTER all day long. I just really need some tips to stop. Thanks for listening.

[dondeluis]

Hmm, your focus is so negative. Let's focus a bit on the positive. You must have some positive attributes going for you if you are accepting this challenge, and wanting to change your lifestyle right? Keep pushing forward, you're in the right spot :)

[jrock123]

i think the key early on is cutting out as many alone hours as possible - go to be earlier, leave home earlier, etc. also, it worth getting the web protection software. lastly, post to this forum everyday and use some free time to read some of the wonderful success stories on this site as well as some of the pitfalls. Good luck to you. You CAN kick this habit and you will be amazed what life will look like once you have a couple weeks being P and MB free.

[Daniel]

S&T,

I completely identify with your situation -to the uttermost. I didn't work at home and of course that brings a new and difficult element to your situation.

Read up -knowledge is power. Be prepared to change up your routine in as big a way as possible. Whatever methods that were tried before, perhaps they were doomed to fail. Make sure you are set up for success.

If you really want out, then you will break out, it's just a matter of time...

See my signature for some ideas on getting started...

Welcome to TTF!

Daniel

[lightseeker]

Welcome to the site sick and tired>:D<

The realisation that you have a problem is your first step so well done for that and now you can begin the road to recovery, know that this site is full of people who share your pain and we are all here to support one another.

Like Daniel says knowledge is important, after all how can one act without knowledge of something?

You know i believe the reason we find things so difficult in terms of pics in magazines women on the street etc, is because we have this problem with porn, because we watch it so frequently our minds and our perspective on the world and how we see women is distorted so much that we see everything in a sexual way. I lost count the amount of times people say things to me and i have made a sexual inuendo out of it or i see a women on tv or in the street and i just cant stop thinking about sex, this is not normal, life should not be that difficult for us that we can't watch tv or walk down the street without drowning that much in sexual thoughts, yeh its normal for men to think about sex a lot
and be turned on by a beautiful women, but because we have a PA problem we are on a deeper level, and these things (known as triggers) lead us very quickly into a porn session.

Anyways to get to my point - in the begining it is hard, and although i am still yet to abstain for more than 2 weeks, from what i have read and seen from others, after you have gone clean for some time, these urges will die down and it will become easier to deal with triggers. Although i havent reached that level yet, it makes sense, if we break away from the porn and leave it behind us then eventually it will stop controlling us as strongly as it is now.

If you can try not to be alone with your computer, be in or near a room with others as much as you can, be active on here and start a journal, if you do relapse learn from it; why did it happen and how can you prevent it next time.

[sickandtired]

I agree...Negativity never helps whatsoever. Thanks for the reply.

[sickandtired]

Thanks a lot for the reply. I stumbled again today and find that when I'm tired or under stress, I tend to watch P more easily, maybe for the quick fix, only to feel bad afterwards. I appreciate your time and look forward to ending this PA.

[dondeluis]

Hmm, I would even recommend a usernname change. Every time you log in you will see sickandtired. How do you think that will make you feel(take a guess)? Im assuming you answered correctly, it will make you feel sick and tired. Instead of sickandtired how about motivated2change?

[lightseeker]

S&T,

You know when we get tired we cant be bothered, with the porn you need to be wary of triggers and keep your guard up, if you feel that tiredness leads you to become weak and turn to porn, then you now need to use what you can to protect yourself at these times, like not using your computer when your tired, start going to bed earlier and get into a routine etc, if its late at night and your alone, unless you really must use the computer, then dont use it, half the time we turn computer on for whatever reason and then in a split second we are looking at porn, if you find yourself in that situation, try to come on here and grab some support before its too late!