Tips appreciated!

[Mefree]

Hey all.
I joined TTF four days ago, and have since been four days clean. I remember the night I joined I had just relapsed and had gone through all the usual anger/depression swings we all do. Then, right when I verified my account, the clock struck midnight. I thought to myself "A new day. Time to start over." and smiled. As great as that was, I've been getting kind of nervous...

What I mean to say is, throughout these last few days since quitting I haven't even had urges. Well, maybe one or two, but ones so small you could dismiss them with a shrug. I mean, it's been blissful, and I am so thankful, but I feel like I'm just breezing through what's supposed to be the toughest part of recovery. On top of that, I was alone ALL weekend (aside from a college football game saturday night) with NOTHING to do but sit at my computer. And I wasn't even tempted. Once again, I am very grateful for this, but it does make me nervous. I feel like I might let my guard down and all the joyous feelings would be killed in one insignificant rush.
I don't want this to end, and if anyone has tips on staying on track and making sure it doesn't slip up on you I would really appreciate it.

[Daniel]

Mefree,

This is a really good kind of holiday from the usual littany of temptations but it can happen. You're right, the normal way of it (according to all of the first-person testimony here at TTF) is to be carpet bombed with challenges to the left and right.

I also enjoyed an extended period of complete freedom early on in my journey.

But trust me when I say this blissful beginning will fade and the daily grind will kick in. So prepare now!

Somewhere in the General Discussion is a several page-long thread on what to do when the urges come back, ways to stay occupied and away from slippery places.

Glad to hear it(!), and now Get Ready!,

Daniel

[artguy34]

Welcome to TTF Mefree, we're glad you're taking the right steps to a better life.

As for suggestions, all I can offer you is this and keep in mind, that these are only my suggestions. But I hope what ever you do works best for you!

First of all, I would suggest you try to identify all your triggers that lead you to P/MB.

Then build up your deterrents to fight possible relapses, even if your urges are small.

Build a game plan for when you find yourself slipping into a relapse.

Also... if you do relapse, try to find the strength to pick yourself up and start over. This IS an ADDICTION so you need to get that in your head and know this is going to be a big battle. But this is a battle you can win!

In regards to your first days being easy? Yea, it happened to me too, but then as Daniel eluded to, it gets tougher and tougher. Your body starts to crave the addiction and your brain is seeking that pleasure it always receives from the quick fix of P. (Dopamine) ?? I believe is the chemical your brain releases and the withdrawal you will encounter will make you feel a rash of emotions, possibly irritable, depressed, tired, sick, angry or desperate.

This is when TTF can help you! Please read the SO's journals and read the pain that the significants of P addicts endure because of their partners addiction and that should sober you up quickly. I found it resourceful to learn about what they have suffered and made me feel remorseful for what I put my own wife through. Even if your single or in a relationship, it is eye opening to read what these poor SO's go through. And... it may help you become a better person in the long run?

Good Luck with your journey, and please feel free to ask any one of us PA's or even SO's about an issue if you need help!

AG

[dondeluis]

My plan is to occupy myself, and use Melatonin(adjusts sleep patterns) so I go to bed aroudn 11 every night.

My plan is to keep these priorities in life
1-family
2-school
3-being healthy

I have to occupy myself with studying and exercising. Gotta get my masters somday.

[cabby12]

All these have been great ideas and I would like to add one. I don't know if you've done this already or not, but tell someone who you are close to. It will be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do but from my own experience can be the one thing that saves you in those long lonely nights. Before my most recent relapse which led me to this forum, the person I told got me through 6 months of freedom. That being said that person cannot always be there and that is where all these other idea's come in.