returning

[dpcam]

I stopped using porn 20 days ago and have to say I haven't missed it that much. I do notice that when my partner leaves the house my mind automatically drifts to contemplating a sexual thrill but I know I can't get to it now so those thoughts seem to ease quickly.
It's very sobering reading how it has such a grip on others.
I installed K9 and my partner administers it which has helped me immensely. I know that if it wasn't in place I'd get back into again.
I think I just have very poor impulse control. I liken it to having chocolate biscuits in the house. We never buy them but if they are there I can't resist eating five or six in one sitting.
My heart goes out to all those who have decided to stop and are experiencing intense suffering as a result.
In retrospect I can say that porn was like an old friend. It comforted me when I was bored, tense or alone.
To anyone who is thinking of stopping, quitting immediately seems to reduce thinking about sex.
I read a wonderful book the other day called "Turning the mind into your ally" and the author made an interesting point about thinking in general. He said that we are always meditating whether we are aware of it or not. When we are caught in a porn addiction we are choosing to meditate on naked lust so thats what we get more and more of. The challenge for us caught in this addiction is to turn our minds to something beneficial and life affirming.