It just got difficult for the first time

[Amphiprotic]

I am sitting here doing my homework in a empty computer lab and having a hard time keeping focused. ~X(It has been 5 days since the last time I looked at porn. My brain is trying to play tricks on me and saying well just this once... Good grief! Can't it come up with a better reason than that? Hehe. Well, to be honest it does seem like a compelling reason to me. If you know what I mean. Yikes. My chest is tight. I have a shortness of breath. I need someone to talk to... to just move past this point. I am heading off to do just that. Wish me luck. Thanks for listening.

[lightseeker]

Whenever this happens get up and walk away immediately, take a break and walk outside for 10 mins or refocus your brain on something else, the longer you sit there in that state the more likely you will head towards a relapse. Do it now - walk away.

[Amphiprotic]

That is exactly what I did and it worked!! I have already noticed that my mind is "cleaner" than it was just 2 weeks ago. What I mean by that is I spend less time fantasizing about things in a p way. It has been 1 week now and all is going well. Thank you for your support and feedback. This has been wonderful. I feel like I am ready to give it up but we shall see how long it lasts.

[Crisodian]

You were able to walk away when the urge hit. Good for you! A week is a great start!

Just take it one day at a time. Get through today and then worry about tomorrow.

Be strong.
~C~

[Amphiprotic]

how quickly it ends. I went 9 days only to break my promise and do it again!! How disappointing. I was feeling so strong to be away from it but here I sit alone in front of a computer. The urge came and I followed it through instead of using any of the tactics taught here. What am I supposed to feel! I need some peer support right now. If you broke your promise to yourself and did it again how did you deal with it. I am so sad right now...

[hast]

I've broken promises to myslef over and over and over. The good thing? I still feel pain from it. There was a point where I just didn't care anymore...I didn't feel the consequences, and no consequences was worse than feeling terrible...I got into some sick stuff at that time. I thank God every time I feel dissappointed in myself from what I've done, because every time, I learn a little more. And I've been able to suspend the time between relapses a lot longer. You know, I think you have to just realize that you're human, and you have an addiction. Sometimes you just fall. You just have to be able to pick yourself back up and keep going.
"Yes, I relapsed, but at least this time it took 3 days instead of 3 hours." "Yes, I relapsed, and I'm dissappointed in myself. At least I feel that, and next time it will be even more than 3 days." "Yes, I relapsed, but at least this time it was 3 months. I am at least slowly making progress, and I'm trying."

You just gotta keep hope, and come here when you feel crappy. When you're tempted, just get the heck outta there. Start a project, clean your bathroom.

[artguy34]

You just gotta keep hope, and come here when you feel crappy. When you're tempted, just get the heck outta there. Start a project, clean your bathroom.

Damn, cleaning a bathroom? Yea that would break me out of a possible relapse. And my wife would be happy I did something constructive too! Hey maybe I should use that as one of my deterrents.

Hey Amp, dont be too hard on yourself... hast has some good advice, consider it a learning experience and file it away for next time. I believe it was dave42 who says "live in the now, live free for right now, free from P and MB" and when the urge hits you, try to use the techniques to fight your relapse.

You can do it!

[hast]

Yep, I cleaned the bathroom one day when I was felt a relapse coming on. It kept me from relapsing (even later in the day), left me with a clean bathroom, and made me happy because I knew my sister was gonna be happy. It was an unselfish thing I did in place of a more selfish thing like P

[artguy34]

It was an unselfish thing I did in place of a more selfish thing like P

Now thats awesome! talk about turning things around for the better. Good job hast!

See Amp, we know you have what it takes to beat this! Keep ya chin up. Today is a new day and tomorrow is a chance to build on success!

[Amphiprotic]

WOW. Thanks for all the well wishes. 6 days off and feeling strong. I hope my bathroom stays dirty...meaning I hope the urge isn't strong enough to make me wanna scrub a toilet. Hehe.