Dealing with the Justified Tirades

[statler]

Thanks terawave and artguy. You both really hit the nail on the head here. I'm embarassed to say I have yet to start an actual journal, need to get on that.

[dave42]

First time around, when I was clean for 8 or 9 months, I didn't have a journal, but I'm glad I have one now. It's useful to have a place here that is "mine." Don't know why, but it is helpful. Good luck to you and your wife!

[Newlifeman]

Statler,

I read your original post and all the replies, thanks for the insight as I am only a couple weeks into this and just today I found myself getting angry with my wife for lashing out at me. I am really trying to sit on my hands and take it...because I know she needs to be angry and scream and yell, say hurtful things. I will take yours and everyones examples and use it to the best of of my ability. Thanks.

[artguy34]

Statler,

I read your original post and all the replies, thanks for the insight as I am only a couple weeks into this and just today I found myself getting angry with my wife for lashing out at me. I am really trying to sit on my hands and take it...because I know she needs to be angry and scream and yell, say hurtful things. I will take yours and everyones examples and use it to the best of of my ability. Thanks.

Yes, the anger and irritability is a part of the withdrawal symptoms, but stay focused and remember why you are recovering! This is a life change, not a moment change!

Hang in there and be tough! You can do it!

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

artguy-

I am not discounting what you say, but my husband isn't a daily user (or so he claims). He indulges when I am out of town. So, if he is irritable, its likely because I am irritating. :) The real test will be when I go out of town next for 3 months. I imagine there will be great moodiness on both our parts then.

Thanks for this post. I don't like the term "tirade' because it sounds so ugly. It sounds so close to tantrum! But, I guess that does describe it in some way and all you guys supporting each other can only help.

[artguy34]

artguy-

I am not discounting what you say, but my husband isn't a daily user (or so he claims). He indulges when I am out of town. So, if he is irritable, its likely because I am irritating. :) The real test will be when I go out of town next for 3 months. I imagine there will be great moodiness on both our parts then.

Thanks for this post. I don't like the term "tirade' because it sounds so ugly. It sounds so close to tantrum! But, I guess that does describe it in some way and all you guys supporting each other can only help.

No problem. As an SO, you are entitled to your anger and lashing outs. And that is perfectly fine! We as PA's need to expect those emotional outbursts because we created them. However, as long as you can respect your husbands achievements in staying clean and working hard to better himself, I think that will help him on his journey.

Good Luck, and I hope you two work this out together! :)

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

Thanks artguy. I will try to rejoice in my husband's triumphs. I have to remember, that although this thing has come between us, I love him and I hate to see him hurting, ever.

[newstartforher]

^ Which is, after all, the best reason imaginable for him to stop and the best reason for you to help him :)