Get back up

[Troubled Heart]

A couple days ago I gave into temptation. I have only been free of p for 2 days now. I had so much speed built up, that when I crashed, it hurt bad. It was like I couldn't decide for myself. It was the only thing that could happen in my mind but my heart was begging me not to. My strength is low and my will is faltering. I can't find many things that are enjoyable enough to replace this hunger.

[little_wife]

But you came back anyways, troubled heart! You could have just given up once you had given in, but you didn't. I'm glad you came back, and you can move forward from here. >:D<

[Robert E.]

I just started yesterday myself so I guess I can not give much advice but this is my day two. Each time i feel like looking at some pictures I just walk away from the computer. As hard as it is I just walk away. You can do this, your back and want help like we all do. Its ok you can make it. Hope i could be of some encouragment. Take it easy.

[dave42]

I agree with Robert E and Little Wife: first, as Robert E says: "take it easy" and, second, as Little Wife points out: you could have given in and you didn't. Even if you HAVE given in by the time you read this (I hope you haven't, but even if you have), the fact that you are reading this, that you are trying, is so important. Hey, I think it is fantastic that you acknowledged your addiction as a hunger: "I can't find many things that are enjoyable enough to replace this hunger." I totally agree. It's really true and there is no reason to pretent otherwise. Speaking for myself only, because some folks here disagree, I think, there is nothing like p. Going for a hike in the mountains, going to a great concert, reading a wonderful book, even spending time with my loved one -- these things are (it's so sad to admit this) not as satisfying as looking at p. Sigh...but, hey, give yourself credit for saying it! I think the hunger can be controlled MUCH more easily after about a month, so part of this is just being strong for long enough to "withdraw." I hope my thoughts are helpful. I don't mean them in a negative way. I guess that there is power for me in acknowleding that I really MISS looking at p. It's sad that my addiction is so strong, but I don't see downplaying that part of recovery as useful for me. It's sad to have to give up something that is so satisfying, even though it's not really satisfying ultimately. Hope this makes sense!