Am I SA too?

[FinelyMade]

Ok, I'm opening up a can ofworms here I fear but I'm going to take the steps to find this out. Basically I have had an insatiable appetite for S. I want it all the time from my GF and basically I thought I just had a high S drive. I'm beginning to wonder because it seems like whe she was living with me if I was having a lot of S with her I wouldn't be looking at P as much. Is this a normal behavior?

[gnein]

It's possible. I was in a similar position at the height of my problems. Last year I was regularly using P, phone sx, cyber sx on the Internet (acting out a role), and visiting prostitutes, all on a regular basis. I don't claim to be a scientist, but I think it has something to do with the chemicals released by the brain during orgasm, that cause us to get addicted to them. I've heard of laboratory experiments where rats will run across electrodes just to get to these chemicals, so it's not all that uncommon.

What worked for me was phasing out one aspect of the addiction at a time. I started by getting rid of the prostitutes (because they were too expensive) and the cyber sx (because there was some disturbing crap going on there). Recently I've worked on clearing out the phone sx, and the P seems to be gradually taking care of itself, as does the MB (although I wasn't really trying to quit that).

The issue is that ALL of those things are forms of stimulation. If you reduce the total amount of stimulation in your life, you'll reduce your problems with P, MB and sx addiction. Now if you have a partner, you may need to tread carefully here (I was single, so I didn't have this particular problem). What I suggest is that you start by just giving up the P, one day at a time, and be patient about the results. I think in the long run, you could find your sx drive steadily returning to normal levels, and your sx life could start to improve as you won't be putting yourself under as much pressure to give a 'performance'.

Whatever strategy you apply, it's important to stick at it, because if you have more than one addicition related to P or sx, it's going to be a long haul getting over it.

[Daniel]

Basically I have had an insatiable appetite for S. I want it all the time from my GF and basically I thought I just had a high S drive. I'm beginning to wonder because it seems like whe she was living with me if I was having a lot of S with her I wouldn't be looking at P as much. Is this a normal behavior?

FinelyMade,

I agree with gnein's assessment. Alot/most of your mental torment when going without is a withdrawal symptom.

On a side note, the idea of "I have a high sx drive" for PAs is widely reported. On the front end of TTF's site, this "high drive" observation is listed as one of our great rationalizations for indulging the behavior. But the obvious error is our high drive is in reality a feature that we have created more or less.

There's an informative article I found which touches this interesting subject here: LINK.

You've done well to notice this aspect of your recovery in the first place, good work!

Knowledge is Power.

Daniel