Question

[Thisisme18]

Hey! I have a question. I recently stopped mb'ing and looking at p for a while. But I mb'ed again recently. Anybody got any sites that help stop them from mb'ing? Thanks. I'd really like to stop.

[FoolishMind]

Hi Thisisme, If you want to stop MBing, you need to understand why you MB in the first place, and Why you want to stop MBing.

There is always a debate on a for and against MBing, my personal stance on this is that it is fairly natural when not in a relationship but infrequently. In relationship it should be together or mutually satisfying eachother.

So I dont want to make any assumptions on your situation or speculate, so let us know your answers to the first two questions, and perhaps you gain some advice more specific to you.

I am also unaware of any specific sites to assist in stopping MB. Of course you could go to charity site and look at pictures of world poverty and starvation, im pretty sure within a few minutes of absorbing that, your mind will have moved of the urge to MB.

FM

[FatherOfTwo]

Hi Thisisme,

I agree with FoolishMind - you need to understand what role masturbation plays for you. As an example, I tried giving up porn use without giving up masturbation, and failed time after time. However, through reading a thread debating masturbation I realised that I should give up masturbation - which was something I hadn't considered and turned out to be a revelation.

For me, I don't think porn is the biggest problem. My problem is that masturbation has become a way for me to cope with stress or other negative emotions - the porn use is, in a way, just symptomatic of this. Also, I'd come to prefer masturbation to sexual intimacy with my wife - which is obviously a big sign that something is wrong.

Having come to understand this, I'm now 22 days without, and feeling good. I didn't think I could live without regular masturbation, but I've discovered life is much better without it.

But this may not be the case for you, or others - but having read through lots of thoughts on the matter it's clearly so different for different people. You need to understand how it works for you.

All that said, I don't know of any sites that can help you stop masturbation, I'm afraid. Except this one, of course (it worked for me)!

Cheers,

FatherOfTwo

[Thisisme18]

Well here's my answer as to why I mb. I think it's because I need to get laid, lol. Either that or my hormones are out of control. But here's my reasoning. I need to get laid, because if I stop mb'ing, I get irritable, but if I do MB, I am still irritable. So I don't know what to do.

[FoolishMind]

Thank for responding Thisisme, and I think a very fair answer.

Ok please note this is in my opinion, I dont think there is a right and wrong answer, its about ultimatley finding out what works best and fits for you.

As stated earlier, I do beleive MB is fairly natural, however if you take that habit and abuse it, it becomes something quite different and can have negative effects.

So based on your comment "you need to get laid" it sounds like standard frustration and wanting a release. After the act you have a momentary high. Great! But continually doing so, is damaging, as you will be used to that and will lose of charm and charisma in the experience of building and maintaining healthy relationships.

So In your particular case, again basing this on your comment I am assuming you are not in a relationship, I would say do not go cold turkey, but limit yourself to MBing once a week! and only once a week to start with. For your first weeks trial, you should keep a tally of exactly how many times you get the urge to MB, I think this figure will shock you.

Before you start your first weeks trial, you need to work out when the urge usually hits, what are the environments etc.

example, usually urge hits when watching a movie with a provocative scene, Being bored sitting in your bedroom etc.

You then need to put a simple plan together to counter these urges.

example:

When watching a movie, and a provocative scene comes on, I will fast forward, and run to bathroom and Wash my face with freezing cold water. ( you may laugh, but i know it works from experience)

another example:

Sitting in my bedroom, and suddenly i get the urge to MB, I will get up, and do 10 push ups and 10 sit ups.

Ultimatley you need to find counters that will completley change your brains senses, ie. moving the senses of wanting a sxual high to something that is perhaps comical, or adrenelaine pumping through excercise.

Let me know what you think, and keep reporting back.

All the best

FM

[Thisisme18]

Cold water on the face might work. But I tend to either put my hand up to cover the screen, or close my eyes. I could do pushups, and situps, but what about testosterone? Wouldn't that increase my chances of mb'ing? Sorry to sound contradictive, lol.

[FoolishMind]

Not really contradictive, but you need to realise that 'we' as individuals are going to be the biggest barrier that needs to be overcome through retraining ourselves.

You will see so many posts on this site saying "interent filter wont work, because i can get round it". You will always be able to find an excuse to justify something. But this mentality means you have not grasped the first question that one needs to ask themselves.

Why do you want to be P free? & Do you actually WANT to be P free?

If you know why, and you are clear that you want to, Then you will find you want focus on excuses or reasons why things may not work, You will just find yourself MAKE THEM WORK.

Positive attitude is a huge strength to be reckoned with my friend.

FM

[FatherOfTwo]

Hi both,

Sound advice, FM. If you want to be free of porn and masturbation you can be - but you need to work out your own motivation.

I would just add - you don't know if something will work until you try it. Most people who post here have tried and lapsed several times before finding something that works for them. So - make a plan as best you can, try it out, post here so you can record your experiences, and if it doesn't work, then try something else until you find your answer.

Good luck!

FatherOfTwo