Ok, let's give it another try

[IntoTheFire]

I wanted to say a few things about quitting p again.


I want to quit p and deal with my shame issues and my fear of women. Please help.

[Dosta_je]

Welcome back! It's a good thing that you're coming back on track :)

I haven't seen your previous posts, so I was thinking - could you elaborate on the fear of women thing? I had a similar problem (and I'm not quite over it yet), P has made me quite disconnected with reality, and I feel now that that's probably one of main reasons for the obstructions I had for relationships. And, to make it worse, that isolation and unpreparedness for real life made my life miserable once I encountered real love. And so here I am, fighting my addiction and improving myself... I can say one thing, there's no reason to be afraid. Just relax and let it flow, you'll find that it's something innate, something we know and feel, and once you're past that barrier, world's your oyster :D OK, I know I may be simplifying things a bit, but sometimes it is simple, and I'm getting quite sleepy as well... Anyway, looking forward to reading about your future successes! :)

Best wishes! Stay strong!
Vladimir

[Charly22]

Good for you, for taking the step to come here and post. Good for you for recognizing what you need to deal with, several never reach this point. I find that very courageous and wise. Maybe speaking out loud the things that make you feel shame, and the things that make you feel fear will bring them into the light, make them appear as they truly are, and not so overwhelming when they are kept inside. Even typing them out, here on this website, will bring a perspective to them that is new and needed. Let it out....that's what I say......bring it out in the open......don't let it live in secrecy no more!

[IntoTheFire]

I won't give my life story here, but I'm a young guy and I started watching p when I was really young, in my early teens.

Anywho, I think the big problem is I am caught in this cycle. I am ashamed of how much p and the braod spectrum of p I have watched, so this really isolates me and drives me back to p.

I think the main problem is I feel like nobody will accept me and what I have done. But I guess the key is just accepting what I have done and doing something about it. I have a very difficult time of letting go of guilt and shame. I don't know how to get over this. I know it doesn't happen immediately.

But what are some techniques to relieve myself of the guilt and shame? Of course the first step is to stop doing the self destructive behavior and compulsive behavior that causes it. But even still, I have quit for a few months and still felt a bit guilty and ashamed.

Thanks for your replies.

[Amanda788]

Hey IntotheFlame,

It sounds like you've come to the right place. I know the guys here can relate to you and try to help in overcoming the guilt adn shame.

As far as tips on how to move on from guilt and shame I think it will take time. The fact that you haven't looked at porn in a few months is great. You should really be proud of that.

You might try talking a therapist about it. Try focusing on the positive and not the negative.

I wish you luck in your journey.

Amanda

[gnein]

I think the main problem is I feel like nobody will accept me and what I have done. But I guess the key is just accepting what I have done and doing something about it. I have a very difficult time of letting go of guilt and shame. I don't know how to get over this. I know it doesn't happen immediately.

But what are some techniques to relieve myself of the guilt and shame? Of course the first step is to stop doing the self destructive behavior and compulsive behavior that causes it. But even still, I have quit for a few months and still felt a bit guilty and ashamed.

I think you should remember that you're not the only one to suffer from this problem. Have a look at some of the statistics Vorlan posted in the "Downside of P" thread and you'll realise that what happened to you has happened to a lot of other people. Also, instead of thinking about what you've done in the past, think about what you're doing now, or what you'll do in the future.

We've all made mistakes, but you're now doing something about it. That's something you should be proud of. Above all else, be patient, the effects of PA are going to take a while to leave you completely, but as the old proverb goes - "the journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step".