Back again...

[Matt4:17]

Well, it's been a while since I've last posted on here. I thought that I was doing good, then relapsed, but was just to ashamed or began looking else where for help. Well, I decided to return, this time I'm going to ask different questions from you.

In breif, I've been looking at PA for the past fifteen years. Wow, that's a long time, and hours wasted on P. However, I need to remember, no regrets! What's done is done.

So, I'm back, to really try this time. I went almost a week, and then *poof* it hit me. The P bug. I couldn't control it, and it's as if there is this itch that needs scratched. A beast within, that the only way to subside it, or calm it, is to look at P.

Though, when I haven't looked in a while, I can't stop when I start. I catch myself just clicking, and clicking, and clicking. Telling myself, stop, just leave, go! But, then the clicking still continues.

I'm afraid to tell my girlfriend, because she won't take it well. All my guy friends have the idea that it's ok. But, it's not ok with me, in a sense that I look for so long, and just it does nothing but leave me with a sense of emptyness. Wasted hours, and days on P.

I have me a new computer, and it's all mine. So, I want to install some software that prevents P on here. Any ideas? I'm broke, so something that is free would be nice. But, I'm sure I'll find some other way. That is where you come in.

I need advice on what to do when the beast pokes its head above the water? What do you do, when you get the feeling or urge to look? What are some ways you direct your intrest else where? I've tried the list, but when you come up with so many excuses, it doesn't work. So, I need examples of what other people do. Take a shower? Go for a walk?

Thank you!

[jerseygirl]

Matt4:17 ...

Welcome back!

My husband is the porn addict in my situation. I know there are times when he feels quite edgy ... probably like your itch.

The two things I notice him doing the most when he's feeling that gnawing urge is either going for a walk ... he grabs his mp3 player and off he goes or he hops on his weight bench and lifts.

There is definitely something to be said about exercising while in recovery. Exercise prompts the brain to release dopamine, which incidentally is the same excitotoxin in porn & drug addictions. Eventually, enough long term exercise will make your dopamine receptors adapt and react less ... in turn lessening your euphoria when you view porn. All of this happens in the same area of a person's brain ... the reward center. The major reason why it can be difficult to conquer this addiction ... you've rewired your brain to find those images rewarding, even in the short term.

It's great that you've come back. I would recommend not listening to your mates when they say that "it's ok". I'm sure you can agree that it's a difficult subject to discuss and one that very little want to address amongst friends.

Best of luck on your journey.

~jerseygirl~

[Matt4:17]

Matt4:17 ...

Welcome back!

My husband is the porn addict in my situation. I know there are times when he feels quite edgy ... probably like your itch.

The two things I notice him doing the most when he's feeling that gnawing urge is either going for a walk ... he grabs his mp3 player and off he goes or he hops on his weight bench and lifts.

There is definitely something to be said about exercising while in recovery. Exercise prompts the brain to release dopamine, which incidentally is the same excitotoxin in porn & drug addictions. Eventually, enough long term exercise will make your dopamine receptors adapt and react less ... in turn lessening your euphoria when you view porn. All of this happens in the same area of a person's brain ... the reward center. The major reason why it can be difficult to conquer this addiction ... you've rewired your brain to find those images rewarding, even in the short term.

It's great that you've come back. I would recommend not listening to your mates when they say that "it's ok". I'm sure you can agree that it's a difficult subject to discuss and one that very little want to address amongst friends.

Best of luck on your journey.

~jerseygirl~

Awesome! You are so right on with that! I just need more motivation to get up and go. Sometimes, I'll be so tired, and won't want to do much. I guess they call that lazyness! Thank you jerseygirl! And your great for understanding your husband, and helping him. It's not easy to break, becuase everywhere you turn, men are targeted with sex adds, and women pressured by standards. Sometimes I hate the internet, but need it for work, and school. Well, thanks again!

[rugbysteve]

Hi Matt4:17,
I'm new here, but as for the web filtering software, I have been using K9. It's free.
K9 Web Protection - Free Internet Filtering and Parental Controls Software
Also, when fighting the urge, and this is advice I should follow as well, perhaps it would be good to do something productive. Perhaps a small housekeeping chore or something? That way you would feel rewarded after you were done.
Good luck.