I have finally admitted to myself today, and my partner 10 minutes ago, that I am addicted to pornography.
The catylist for this was during viewing yesterday when i unwittingly came across some child pornography. This was certainly not hunted for, and it shocked me. It put a very quick end to my viewing, and the site was reported to my countries watchdog.
It made me think about what pornography meant for those involved, how it objectified woman, and led my to become desensitized to the point where it affects my very being.
It however made me look very closely at myself over the last 24 hours, and what is a priority for me. I love my partner very much, but this addiction is effecting my very being. By picking up the courage to tell her, it is now a bit real for me, and im quite scared as to what the future holds, but today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am heading overseas in 6 weeks, which will limit remarkably my access to Porn, and I have six weeks to go cold turkey. This is day 1 for me. the 14th of January 2008 was the day i became porn free.
Good for you Tactix. It's scary how quickly the darkness can creep up on you. The thing that scares me most, and you got it right on, is the desensitization that occurs in this addiction. You start out in a place that is "normal" by societies standards, but the slope is slippery and before you know it you are trying to claw your way out of the pit.
All that may sound a bit dramatic but that's how I feel about it. When you start on this path, you have no idea how low you can go. I'm glad you had this moment of realization, and I wish you success on your journey. Please let us know how it goes.
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi
Hi Tactix,
Admitting your fault is the first step towards making amends. You did well but there is still a long way to go make sure that you can make this thought of yours sustain, let it become the reason for the change that can make a significant difference in your life...
Day Two and going strong. Things a bit rocky with my partner at the moment, stepping awy from the computer now, just got to find a good filter prog and Im done :-)
Day 1 -
01-14-2008, 02:25 AM
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