confused

[hangingin]

the name's Shawn, and I trying to combat the urges of P and M.
at being a single 22yr old male, I am by myself at home on my days off, and even if I occupy my time, I get the strong urge to look at P or just M without it.
for 10yrs I have been noticing more and more how unhealthy it is for my emotional self, but have never talked to anyone about it for the shame involved.
I am currently attending a group for sexually assault as children, and some of those men talk of sex addiction,.. I am not addicted to sex since I dont have a partner, but my last partner, I sure was addicted to it.
since I am too shameful to bring this up in group, I continue my merry way and fall into the ruts again of getting caught up into P

it is effecting me, since the next day wheter it be at work or a social event, I do get real quiet.
as an only child, I have always in secret been involved in P and M behind my parents, and its carried on into my adult years and I really need to put an end to it, since P is giving me fear of getting into another relationship since I will just want the relationship for lustful desires and dont want a woman to feel that she is just an object.

pretty much, dont know where to turn, I have read alot of how P is bad and why you shouldnt watch it, but just suppersing myself from it is just making me miss it even more and just one day the suppression gets so great that Im into it again

okay im done typing the novel

[willimakeit]

hey hangingin, loads of thanks for this post. im 23 (soon going on 24), single and i guess kinda in the same situation. i got into P and M quite young... not sure what you'd class as young but i guess i got into proper M when i was 9 - 10, looked behind P behind my families and friends backs without (i hope... although i've wanted to tell someone for a while) their knowledge. i get really withdrawn after P &/or M and started to realise this a while back, although i think it was really bad when i was younger but didn't know where to get help. i've tried to suppress my urges lots of times but always got too much in the end. i think this place is great because at least you have an outlet to express your feelings and thought to other people who are going through the same or similar situations. i'm planning to start a journal soon because a few people have said that this has helped them a lot. not sure if you have one but i'll look out for one. i hope you beat P & M! good luck! :)

[Newman]

Shawn,
I'm writing to encourage you to do what your screen name says, hang in. You've come to the right conclusions about porn. It turns us inward and isolates us from the enjoyment of ordinary, everday relationships. This, in turn, only makes us want to "escape" or "medicate" using porn even more. It's a vicious cycle. Knowing this and having fought it for over six months I still, at times, have urges to crawl back into the sewer. Its crazy! But, it does damage us and its important that we continue to fight it. If you have a friend you can trust with your problem, confiding in someone usually helps a great deal. If no one fits this bill you might consider counseling (like me) or frequent postings on this board. Boredom is a big trigger for me. If I start running out of things to do, places to go or people to meet I try to come up with something to keep me busy. Volunteering or joining some type of hobby group may help. I've found that the more I interact with people the less I'm inclined to view porn. PA thrives on isolation, secrecy and deception. The more contacts we have and the more open and honest relationships we have, the less inclined we are to use porn. Good luck and keep trying.