do you all have the images in your head?

[elle kay]

i cant ask him that. i fear the answer. what ive seen, i can't get out of my head. how can he?

[DesperateHousewife]

In my experience, this isn't a question that porn addicts even want to answer. I've asked it more than once and I either get no response or the lie that he doesn't, or at least that he doesn't 'see them' when he's with me. I think we all know the true answer, which is why it tends to be one of the more neglected areas of disclosure. It's just too damn painful. We don't want to ask, because we know the answer will hurt, and they don't disclose because they know it will hurt us.
Such an insidious thing!
However, I do think that over time, images can be at least be blurred by way of neglect. If a porn addict refuses to entertain the invasion of said images, and instead makes a conscious, deliberate effort to replace them, makes an all out assault on them every time they show up, I think there is a great possibility that, over time, those images will become less frequent and less vivid. And this isn't wishful thinking either, it's a natural law, being that whatever isn't used, atrophies, and whatever is used increases in strength. None of us are doomed to anything, except that which we resign ourselves to.

♥

(And I would consider the entertainment of stored mental imagery to fall under the definition of a 'relapse'. But, that's just me.)

[leadmehome]

A P addict in recovery asolutely does not dwell on and fondley embrace these memories. That is not the mindset of someone on the road to recovery but the road to relapse. Unfortunately the sad truth is your memory was seered by something because it was shocking and horrifying. But in reality a P addict has seen a million images just like that and probably doesn't remember most of them. And why as addicts have we seen a million images? Because we never find satisfaction or fullfillment. My beautiful wife DH has, in some of her more desperate moments, expressed a longing to be the woman I lust over. But if she were she would not be happy for long because I would only be able to look at her for a couple minutes and I would have to move on. I am enammered by her beauty, just they way she is, but I do not lust after her. There is nothing good about lust, it is by nature very selfish and careless and it does nothing posotive for anybody involved. The addict is not seeing a person but a body and therefore has no consideration or care for them. And the person being objectified is either grossed out or demeened.

[widowgirl]

Wow that's something I never could bring up the courage to ask. Interesting stuff, thanks.