Withdrawals

[healme]

Can I have the PA's share their withdrawals from P with us. I was wondering how bad it gets.

Thanks
H.

[healme]

Common you PA's...has no one felt any withdrawals from this addictions. From what I have read some of these withdrawals can be as bad as a heroin addict. Please step up, share your experiences. It would be really appreciated for those of us who are watching/going through this with our PA's.

Thanks

H.

[TooSensitive]

H, sorry to see you haven't gotten any PA replies yet. I don't think the physical w/d symptoms are as bad as heroin as in profusely sweating and vomiting, like what happens during detox, but I'm sure other things transpire, such as strong physical urges. And I know the mental symptoms can be bad, such as strong mental urges to a/o, some get depression, and my h became very irritable, resistant, resentful, arrogant, and a whole host of other negative things that I hadn't noticed in him before.

I think it could be likened to quitting heroin (as well as to quitting smoking, which has also been likened to quitting heroin), in terms of the degree of difficulty in quitting. But I believe the actual w/d symptoms aren't as intense as the physical symptoms a heroin addict experiences right after quitting, before the drug is fully out of their system, though I stand to be corrected if this is not true. I believe it might be the mental symptoms and the intensity of the ongoing urges that is what might make it more intense than perhaps quitting heroin.

I know *what I wrote above may* sound disheartening, but look how many RAs are here going about a relatively successful recovery. Even my h has shown more recent improvement. It took my h 2-1/2 years to get here, but it takes less time than that for many of them. The thing to remember is that it is an ongoing process, that should never be taken for granted by them, and that they should never become complacent about. Even for alcoholics and drug addicts, they are never "recovered", only perpetually "recovering". And recovery needs to be ongoing for them, b/c if it isn't, they stand to risk falling off the wagon again. Yes, they can pull back to some degree, but that should only happen after they've changed their habits, learned the lessons of recovery, achieved a length of time in sobriety, and made their new healthy habits a part of their routine, so that they are ingrained.

The bottom line seems to be changing their overall attitude about what the addiction means to them, vs. what recovery means to them.

[doodans]

Too bad there aren't any PA's replying.
I know that when my H was trying to go cold turkey, that he was pale and shaky and just lost looking. His nervous system seemd affected too, as he would be excessively triggered by sight and sound. I could then tell when he got his "fix". He was way more relaxed, with a more superior attitude. His vulnerability would go out the window.

[Charly22]

It's a suffering, that's for sure. A suffering for those who, without intention I'm sure, allowed this addiction to become their coping mechanism.

My husband experienced a very tough emotional roller coaster. Emotions and pain that had been buried, and ignored and avoided by using p and s addiction as a way to escape and not have to deal with the tough stuff. Well, guess what, with the crutch gone, it all came flooding out.

It's an adjustment, having to learn to adapt to actually feeling emotions again, or maybe for the first time in one's life.

It's a refining. Throwing yourself into the flame, by deciding to remove the bandaid, and expose the wound, show it to the world, accept it, deal with it, find healthy productive ways to deal with it all. A refining, a purging, to come out the other side brand new.

My husband experienced a whole lot of emotional sypmtoms. Those symptoms manifest physically.

But there comes a time, when you look back, and see that you made it through the fire. You look back and see this new place you are standing.

Withdrawal sypmtoms......yes

Worth it ........... ABSOLUTLEY!!!!!

Nothing worth having comes easy.....

[2frustrated]

Okay, a PA is replying:

Comparing the withdrawal to heroin, or even nicotine, is a long stretch. There might be slightly comparable mental anguish, but not much more than that. I have not been addicted to the extent of needing it every day, or of feeling like I couldn't handle it if I didn't act out. Rather, it was just a very strong urge. Would it be fair to compare it to a junk food addiction? You know it's slowly killing you, but it just tastes so good. The more junk food you eat, the more you want, and the more "normal" it becomes. When you stop eating it, is there withdrawal? Some sugar cravings, mainly, but nothing like going into convulsions on the floor or experiencing nausea, vomiting, etc.

What I'm trying to say is that the addiction is a self-induced mental conditioning. The pain of p "withdrawal" is from missing out on the very pleasurable experience that you know you could have that very moment. Related physical symptoms are, in my unprofessional opinion, psychosomatic. The ability to overcome such symptoms depends on one's ability to face the realities of one's own psyche. Avoidance of that kind of introspection exacerbates the problem.

[healme]

Thank you for your comments; Too Sensitive, Doodans, Charly22 and 2 frustrated;

My husband experienced a very tough emotional roller coaster. Emotions and pain that had been buried, and ignored and avoided by using p and s addiction as a way to escape and not have to deal with the tough stuff. Well, guess what, with the crutch gone, it all came flooding out.

I'm not really sure what were withdrawals and what were just emotions flooding out. In the past 6-7 weeks my SO has lost a lot of weight and muscle mass. He can't sleep, can't eat, can barely function and feel such remorse. He lives day to day in fear. He feel so ashamed of himself and he can't barely function at home and at work. Last Friday he came home from work and had been shaking all day and had absolutely no control over his shaking or his emotions. A total breakdown. How much of this were withdrawals and how much were the realization of what he had done.....I don't know.

I must say that one week makes a lot of difference and he seems to be out of this dark hole.

But there comes a time, when you look back, and see that you made it through the fire.

I'm hoping that we are now out of this fire and with clearer minds we can maybe start rebuilding our lives…….It’s up to you WF.

Thank you for all your support at TTF, I don’t know what I would have done in the past 6 weeks without you.

You were my life line.
H.

[Daniel]

healme,

Greetings again from Daniel.

On this good question the others here have stepped up and decribed the withdrawal process very well.

My commentary on their commentary:

TooSensitive nailed it very well with her description; I completely agree.

2frustrated's likening the addiction not to a physical one like heroin but to consuming junkfood is a great analogy.

Charly's comments on her H's recovery/withdrawal are exactly what I was going to say...

It's not the "addiction" necessarily as much as the use of P was done when something else neeed to be avoided (in the heavily-rationalized excuses). Avoiding family responsibilities, work, study, boredom, stress, anger, frustration, loneliness, rejection, depression, anxiety of every sort, etc., etc. There's no end to the excuses that a PA can invent to run off for more medication.

Once that false lifeline is pulled out of the realm of possibilities with the PA in the "recovery process" (excellent term TooSensitive!), then he must Face The Music so to speak, and finally Live Life and deal with everything in a positve and real and lasting way. You could put Honesty at the top of his list.

As to the actual withdrawal symptoms, I would add to the chorus urges. Once they were always satisfied and now they are not. They are a challenge to be sure.

In my personal case the mental anguish over the emotional and spiritual hurt, to myself and to Mrs. Daniel, was much worse than the feeling of an unfulfilled urge.

If the wave of trauma reached a crescendo, I was also incapacitated as you describe your husband.

But in my case those episodes were thankfully short.

Daniel

[healme]

Thank-you Daniel for writting on this.....awsome commentaries from all.

H.