Is it possible to overcome a PA for good?

[waterlily327]

Maybe this is a silly question--and I don't want anyone here to take it the wrong way because I don't mean any disrespect by asking it! (I am legitimately curious.)

I am wondering if it is possible to fully recover from a PA.

The reason I am asking is because I have ventured over into the recovering PA side of the forum and noticed that a lot of people have reported that they were P-free for significant amounts of time, yet slipped back into it. Knowing that it is always "just a click away" makes me wonder do you ever really get past this for good??

Thanks for addressing this nagging fear :)

[Crisodian]

waterlily,
Let me start by saying I am the SO of a PA who has been clean for over a year now. I am also an addict who has been in recovery for 16 years myself.

There is no simple answer to your question and there are many schools of thought.

First, let me ask you what do you define as "full recovery"? Do you mean "no longer an addict" or "no longer acting out"?

I am an addict. I will always be an addict. I have not relapsed, or acted out, on my addiction of choice for 16 years. Am I fully recovered? No. Because I will always be an addict.

Now, that being said, I don't go through each day with the same types of cravings or urges my addiction once caused me. But I still occasionally experience the longing to act out.

Regardless, I am still an addict. It would take very little to go back to my addiction of choice, were I to loose focus and let it consume me again.

So, in my opinion, no. There is no "full recovery". Yes. There are long periods of sobriety where the addiction is well under control, and may remain as such, forever. But underneath it all, remains an addict, someone who must remain vigilant going forward to remain in recovery.

As I mentioned before, there are many schools of thought and this is just my opinion through my experience. :)

Good luck on your journey.
Peace,
~C~

[waterlily327]

Thank you Crisodian, your answer was great! By "full recovery" I guess I just meant being able to go for long periods of time without a relapse/urge and if that relapse/urge does happen it doesn't mean a huge downward spiral back into a PA for years. So, "no longer acting out" is more what I meant when I said "full recovery". My BF has gone months without looking, but it seems like as soon as he starts that one slip causes months of P. Congrats to both you and your SO for doing so well. Hearing your story gives me hope that P won't always be a huge part of my BF life. Thank you for taking the time to respond, that was really helpful for me to hear!

[Zachary]

Whenever a thread like this comes up, I try to respond. As a recovering PA (among other things) I have come to realize that addictions have root causes. It's why some people get addicted to some things, while other people don't. Root causes can come from anywhere at anytime in a persons' development. With a lot of difficult and honest soul-searching and dissection of an individuals' past, root causes can be identified and dealt with, resulting in a recovery that is more true growth than mere abstinence. The addiction may always be lingering in some form, but by dealing with the root causes, it can be combated in a more effective way. That's what I think, anyway. Hope it helps!

[waterlily327]

Thank you Zachary! Your response was helpful! I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. All good things to keep in mind :)

[rosie]

Whenever a thread like this comes up, I try to respond. As a recovering PA (among other things) I have come to realize that addictions have root causes. It's why some people get addicted to some things, while other people don't. Root causes can come from anywhere at anytime in a persons' development. With a lot of difficult and honest soul-searching and dissection of an individuals' past, root causes can be identified and dealt with, resulting in a recovery that is more true growth than mere abstinence. The addiction may always be lingering in some form, but by dealing with the root causes, it can be combated in a more effective way. That's what I think, anyway. Hope it helps!

Brilliantly put. Bravo!