Question about trust

[deeplyinlove]

This my first post. I am really glad I found out about this site.

My question to the PA's is, Are we just supposed to trust you now?

My husband admitted his P problem to me recently and I appreciate that, but he has a history of not only watching P excessively, but of also carrying relationships out with women via internet sites and via his cell phone just as recently as this month.
I hate feeling so insecure but he really has hurt me. I just want to know if I am just supposed to 'blindly' trust that he will do right or am I right in asking for his cell phone on occasion and monitoring his laptop?

[Crisodian]

Welcome to TTF. I am the SO (wife) of a PA in recovery over a year now.

And while I am not a PA, the simple answer to your question is no. For most of us, blind trust went out the window when PA was revealed. Monitoing, asking for evidence of his recovery, asking for proof - actions speak louder than words when trust is gone - all are perfectly normal as the SO of a PA. Rebuilding trust is one of the hardest parts of this addiction to overcome.

You have a right to ask for whatever you need from your husband to show you, to prove to you, that he is seeking recovery and not simply "telling you" he is. :)

I'm glad you found your way to TTF. You will find a large, supportive group here. I encuorage you to start your own journal in the Journal's section to help you find your own way to healing.

Find a path to peace,
~C~

[deeplyinlove]

Thank you sooooo much for the advice!

I actually just posted my first journal. It was a big surprise as to how much of a release that was.