How to deal with accidental exposure?

[TrueBlue]

I suppose this question is for everybody, not just PAs.

I was attempting to access a specific parenting website for information about safe medications for new moms. ONE LETTER misplaced in the address bar brought up a page with smut on it...and a bunch of links with wonderfully disgusting names :-o

Normally if something like this happened, I would hit the back button or close the browser window and be irritated. But not the biggest deal in the world.

However, today, hubby was sitting right beside me. And stared. And laughed. Suffice it to say I didn't really take that well. I closed the window and told him to go away from me because I didn't have anything nice to say.

Any suggestions from anyone on how to handle situations like these with a little bit of grace?

[StarPuppy]

Hmm, I hope i do not cause any offense.

It seems that it was a little awkward moment there but i felt that you should have just laughed it out with him.I felt that if he was really sincere in quitting PA, the accidental exposure would be nothing but just a joke.

I mean, i am a PA and if my SO and i ever encounters that by accident, i would be seriously embrassed by it but since your husband found it funny, you should have laughed along and treat it as a joke and a mistake and say that "heres one more webpage being added to the filter!"

Coming from a PA view, i would be confused and slightly annoyed because "i didn't do anything wrong, we just went to the wrong page and found it funny, what is she being so angry? I didn't surf P, it was just accidental that we stumbled upon it" .

I think it is best to discuss with your SO if such incidents happens again

[Crisodian]

I suppose this question is for everybody, not just PAs.

I was attempting to access a specific parenting website for information about safe medications for new moms. ONE LETTER misplaced in the address bar brought up a page with smut on it...and a bunch of links with wonderfully disgusting names :-o

Normally if something like this happened, I would hit the back button or close the browser window and be irritated. But not the biggest deal in the world.

However, today, hubby was sitting right beside me. And stared. And laughed. Suffice it to say I didn't really take that well. I closed the window and told him to go away from me because I didn't have anything nice to say.

Any suggestions from anyone on how to handle situations like these with a little bit of grace?

Sadly, P and its like are all around us. Like you, I have often struggled with the stupidity of it all. Like, who makes a P site ONE FREAKIN' LETTER away from a parental site? How does that even happen? Seriously? Can we not get some control and stop this stupidity? (Ok...End rant)

I know how it happens. I can guess even WHY it happens. But it doesn't make it any easier for us to come to terms with. Heck, even some of the most recent "Back To School" ads were, in my opinion, way overboard on the skimp & sxual nature of advertising.

I do think SP gave you some sound advice. It's a jumping off point for a conversation starter. Talking about it helps. Unfortunately, there's no simple solution for any kind of exposure.

Even though P is not "our" problem as SOs, and I am sure you were on your computer, have you considered activating a light parental control on your machine? I put it on mine to try to prevent the exact thing you encountered, a mistype that leads to ...WHAT the heck is that ?!?!?!? :) I have toddler boys who like it when they get to sit with me when I do things online. I didn't want to chance my own typo from subjecting them to the crud out there. I've got mine set to block very little, but enough that I don't have to have a moment of panic if I mistype and a page starts to load.

Just something that worked for me.

Find peace,
~C~

[Daniel]

TrueBlue,

I'll bet a cold soda your H's laugh was a nervous-type laugh rather than a belly-type having-a-good-'ole-time laugh... Because I have had that exact same laugh [nervous] in very similar situations.

For one second he saw a visual feast and in the next second he remembered how much embarrassment, pain, guilt, etc., this whole thing has brought down on his head and yours thus I imagine he didn't do any complaining as he was getting up and leaving etc.

Your response IMHO is perfectly normal under the circumstances. The circumstances dictate that you have very raw emotions and the situation will seem highly uncertain, swinging back and forth on decisions etc., all bad and no good.

Later on in the process you may be able to respond with grace, but it's highly dependent on your journey with H in the process, his own journey, efforts, honesty, etc. If things go reasonably well, you may be able to apologize for something that happened by accident. Or he may react in such a way that he needs to apologize too...

Meanwhile, you do the best you can.

Hang Tough,

Daniel

[TrueBlue]

Thanks guys. I wasn't going to respond to this right now because I just babbled on and on in my journal, but...

Great ideas!

If I understand you sp, i should react to one instance, not everything in the past.

And C, yep, my kids LOVE to look at the computer, especially since they found out they can watch Thomas and Bob the Builder on it, so a filter would probably be really smart for me.

And Daniel, thank you so much, you're right, he was embarassed and did just move away without complaining. And hopefully grace can come with time.

Thank you all!

[Crisodian]

And C, yep, my kids LOVE to look at the computer, especially since they found out they can watch Thomas and Bob the Builder on it, so a filter would probably be really smart for me.

My boys too! Our kids are all about Yo Gabba Gabba, Wow Wow Wubsy, Scooby Doo, Bob and Thomas. A light filter for adult content is all I use to make sure nothing I don't want them exposed to comes through. Plus, as it is my PC and my controls, if something I know is safe is blocked, I can always allow access.

Find peace,
~C~

[StarPuppy]

yes, lets look at it this way, you found a site that you could block and protect your kids instead, lets be happy about it o:-)