Internet Filtering

[landslide]

I was wondering if anyone could tell me what filtering programs worked best for them? My PA husband is pretty savvy on the computer, so has anyone found a system that really does prevent porn from displaying on the computer?

Also, I am assuming there is nothing we can do to protect his phone? He doesn't use P on it now, but it wouldn't surprise me if he gets desperate.

Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[artguy34]

Hello Landslide,

One of the most referred filtering softwares is K-9. It is free and very manageable. My wife (crisodian) uses it on our computer and it blocks out anything she wishes it too. Sometimes it works too good and it may frustrate her when she is looking something up. But it does work. Not only can it block sites, but also track what sites are being viewed. And only she controls the passwords.

Another one is Covenant Eyes I beleive? You have to pay for it, but I have heard from my therapist that it is a very good program for the web. As for the phone? Well that is a different story. I wouldn't know. (sorry)

The good thing about using these software programs is that you can set them up and use them specifically to your own needs. You do not have to "police" your husband on a daily basis to see if he has been honest or not. You can set it up so you get emails with detailed information if you so choose at intervals you can set up. This may help ease some of the stress many SO's may have.

As a PA, I am glad the software is on our computer at home to block web pages and it is installed at my work PC so my wife can monitor what I am viewing when she wants too. I consider it more like validating that I am being honest and P-free rather than an intrusion into what I do on my own. Since I ruined the trust I built up with her, this is merely one way to try to earn it back. (Not the only way, just one way).

I hope this helps?

AG

[landslide]

Thank you so much. It was actully my husbands idea after getting out of counseling. Hopefully he hasn't changed his mind since he left for a conference over the weekend. When he gets home it may help to show him your thread. I don't want to be a 'spy', but we both know he is not trustworthy in this area. It is refreshing hearing from you and see that you are committed to your recovery and your wife. I can only pray for the same.

[artguy34]

You're very welcome.

I would recommend that your husband join this site so he can not only seek support from others like himself, but also see that there are many spouses/girlfriends/significant others who have been hurt by PA.

This website is a great reference for both sides of this addiction and reading about other SO's may truly open his eyes? There is hope, and there are many couples here who have been able to work together to fix their marriage in a healthy way. It's not easy, but it can be done.

Good Luck to you both!

AG

[TheChangeINeed]

Some routers (wireless and not) will allow you to set up a list of forbidden sites so that any computer on your home network will be prevented from accessing them. Saves you having to set up software on many computers and works if you aren't running a mainstream OS.