s3x = love?

[Miki]

I'm just going to put it out there... The Kinsey Report says that about 95% of men MB and Barbara Keesling, Ph.D. says that most men use fantasy with or without a partner (unfortunately, not as much is known about a woman's s3xuality).

I will agree that s3x is not the only form of love, but is it possible that s3x and love have nothing to do with each other?

[debv]

The very existence of P proves that s3x does not equal love. But being a religious person, I firmly believe that s3x and love are intended to be intertwined with each other, and P makes a mockery of s3x as God intended it to be.

Since I'm going to teach science, I also want to speak briefly about the biological aspect of s3x and love. Biologically and historically, a woman is vulnerable during pregnancy, and she and her young children are vulnerable until the children are nearly adolescents. Just like many species in the animal kingdom, the male who impregnates the female sticks around to help the female and the offspring through these times when it is more difficult and historically dangerous for the female to care for herself and her young. The male's offspring have a greater chance of survival to adulthood that way. However, humans and other primates are fairly unique in the animal kingdom in that our mates need to stay around even after the childbearing years are over, because child-rearing takes so long. What we call love likely developed as a biological response between partners to encourage the male to stay with the female during the child-rearing years, even after child-bearing ends. We also have s3x for more than just procreation, unlike many other species. S3x outside of procreation is likely biologically intended to keep the male and female together through the child-rearing years as well.

So the answer is s3x is intended to be between man and woman in a committed familial relationship, spiritually and biologically.* S3x used in the context of P corrupts both the spiritual and biological purpose of s3x.

*I'm not saying this as a judgment against homosexual s3x, incidentally, but one has to admit there's less biological need for it. I firmly believe that should be within the bonds of a committed familial relationship as well, regardless of what the law says about homosexual marriage.

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

miki-

Did the report define how men use fantasy? If my husband mb's and fantasizes about something in his head, without the use of P or chatting with strangers on adult sites, then, I am ok. What can you do. It not like random thoughts of hot guys don't cross my mind every so often. We are all human and I think its normal.

So, if the report means pretty much all men fantasize, ok. If the report is saying all men use porn, then gee, I think we are doomed. And if the report is saying 95% of men use porn, it is still not saying 95% of men are addicted and lie and hide and deceive and reject their partner constantly who is in the next room.

So, if you clarify what the report says, maybe we can have a better discussion.

Do love and sx have anything to do with each other? Well, its possible to have sx with people you don't love. That's called being single and dating. Also, obviously, married people can have various forms of sxual intimacy with other people and feel like its a great way to spend their time. That's why we are all here.

Love is not just a feeling. Its a verb. Its actions. So, when you say you love someone and you promise to love them and forsake all others, then you are promising to control your desires and be with one person.

My conclusion is that it is possible to have sex without love, duh. But loving someone means that you control those desires and remain true to your spouse. So, yes, love and sx have everythng to do with each other. Study or no study, I don't care who does what. I choose to remain true to my husband. He chose not to.

[Miki]

The report is pretty old (1948, 1953), but was the results were replicated in the 90's. All the report says about MB is that 95% of men MB- indicating how common and normal it is. It was the first of its kind to question what the s3xual behaviors of the average American is.

The report says nothing about how many of those men (and again, the info on women is lacking) MB compulsively.