Why continue using P when you know your partner doesn't like it?

[Amanda788]

I've read a lot of the recovery journals on this forum. And it seems like a lot of PAs knew that their SO's didn't like P, yet they wouldn't quit right away? Why?

[pipster22]

Well, as I am sure you have seen while reading the forums.. quitting is not something you just do. Quitting is an extremley hard thing to do and most people are not able to just use their free will and quit right away.

I guess if the person isn't even trying to quit thats one thing, possibly because of denial or other reasons but for those who are actually trying it is an extremley hard process.

[brokensoul]

just a few things
each of us (pa's) have differrent reasons why we have gone to p
i did it to try to not force my needs on my sa
for others it's different
she has some med issues and life issues which started to effect our life together
i was tring to find something to not pressure her but i full down the well
i did what i did without thinking about how that would effect us as a couple
she found out
it made things worst
it's hard to sometimes look into the way the choices you make will effect your life
i sorry
i just go off some times
i thought i was under control until a month ago but i fall down
i will end with this "if we could find the why we could end this"
stay strong (i hope to )
brokensoul

[FoolishMind]

Hi Amanda, Good question, and im sure many SO's ask themselves this.

However, as Pipster rightly says, its really not as cut and dry as that. I know im doing something wrong so why do I still do it. This same question could be asked to repeat criminals, gambling addicts, people with eating disorders, and even children who persist in being naughty. Why keep doing it?

Firstly you need to acknowledge PA like many addictions is a real selfish streak.

My wife didnt want me to view P, but i still did. I loved her, but my P viewing wasnt about her, it was about me, and getting my high!

I applaude you for reading other journals to gain better understanding, however, if you havent already, I would strongly encourage you to read this article The Mind of a PA, to gain a better insight into the other perspective.

Regards

FM

[Amanda788]

Thanks for the link FM. And thanks to everyone that replied. I still have a long way to go to understand this whole thing. One day at a time.

[buscando]

The brain-based stimulation is very intense, and even if parts of our brains tell us we don't like it, the other parts of our brains develop a craving. It has something to do with that. Getting away from pornography involves a lot of brain work, which is why it is hard. Most people don't realize what they're up against.