Quote:
Originally Posted by soooosad  So maybe it is just part of my journey but I am really struggling with men in general right now.
FM says 9 out of 10 men look at porn etc. how many are "addicted"? I "know" it is part of their "make-up" but are all men really just pigs? And how would they feel if the roles were exactly reversed?
I can't even look at a man these days without thinking that he's a pig and feeling really icky! I honestly think that if my husband and I can't make it work I will be looking for a woman for my next (if I ever even have another) relationship.
Sorry guys, I can't help it!
Am I the only one who feels this way??? ss |
I can honestly say that not all men are alike.
There are men who don't look at p when in relationships. Granted in this p saturated culture they seem to be harder to find, but they honestly exist.
Its always important, IMHO, to become friends with a guy before getting involved with them. We live in a culture where we are not encouraged to be honest with each other, especially on first dates.
; )
Women are kind of raised to believe that we're always supposed to be in a relationship and there's something wrong with us if we aren't. Girls kind of grow up believing that the first guy we date is going to be the one. Its called romanticising and its not that different then the lie that p teaches kids, or fast food passing itself as real food.
Relationships are about finding that right "wrong" person who fits you, to paraphrase a performance artist friend of mine.
We will never escape p is the unfortunate reality, but we never have to accept its lies because we can honestly say that it has hurt us.
The more of us who demand to be treated as human beings the less the lie can exist, is how I see it.
We may never change things for us in current day, but we can help our daughters and sons and we can help generations after that.
Nothing changes if nothing changes and we all know that change can only happen if we allow it which means talking and not keeping silent.
If a guy looks at me as an object/fantasy material when he's with another woman I tell the woman she's with a real "winner". She may not like to hear it and he won't like it being said aloud, but I will not be treated like a piece of meat.
I talk back to cat callers, too.
I don't suggest this for everyone, but I honestly tell them what they look like or I ask them if its ever really worked for them. They do get angry so only do this if you feel secure in doing this.
If the guys is doing it for his friends sake as in sounding more macho, more manly, and all that crap then I will tell his friends with a smile and a wink "I can't believe he thinks that works!".
While many men think these behaviors are acceptable that doesn't mean I have to accept them. Because I don't accept them or deny that it makes me uncomfortable I am not sacrificing my self-esteem in subconscious ways.
I call females on the sexist things that they do, too, btw.
sexism is saturated everywhere
and whores/pussies/sluts/b****es did not ask for/cause/or deserve bad things to happen to them. Those terms are used to describe every woman in many different contexts to justify some pretty terrible things.
There are good men.
They are worth finding.
We are much happier when we're with one than with a pig.
Good men are happier when they find a good woman, too, because there are also some women who do some seriously bad stuff.
I'm all about supporting good people and good things.
; )
Anywhoooo.... this was a good topic for me, because I, too, need to remember the goodness that's out there, etc. I'm kind of struggling too with this one, but in different ways.
Thanks for letting me ramble.... or taking the time to read it.
<grin>
brulant
07-22-2008, 07:45 PM
Ty ty very very much. 
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