You will begin to feel better, I know you may not think so right now, but inshi is right. I thought I just couldn't get over it this last time, but lately the anger and pain are starting to slip further and further away!
Love is the rhythm of two hearts beating
Poundin' out a message steady and true
Talk to me baby tell me what you're feelin'
I know what love is
What's it to you
I often look at men and wonder if they look at P or not, it makes me sad as i guess most do. It's hard for me because i have a lot of male friends, however, they are ethical people so i wouldn't think they would be into P, but who knows... although i know some don't have a computer so that helps!
I went through a stage where i was hating men, i used to see random strangers and kinda imagine them on the computer looking at P and upsetting their girlfriends.
That is exactly what I do, and I often express those questions to my boyfriend, which I think once gave him a heads-up to the depth and extensiveness of the pain he inflicted. In the park when we go for walks, I will often see an adorable family with cute little babies, and all I can do is glare at the husband, because he's probably secretly killing his wife and turning the knife in the wound, day in and day out, like so many others. Before porn, I used to remark, "Oh what a cute baby." Now, without hesitation, the first comment I make is, "I'll bet you dollars for doughnuts that man right there watches porn." It is weird. I don't think I'll ever think "Oh what a cute baby" again.
We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jasmine For This Useful Post:
In the park when we go for walks, I will often see an adorable family with cute little babies, and all I can do is glare at the husband, because he's probably secretly killing his wife and turning the knife in the wound, day in and day out, like so many others. Before porn, I used to remark, "Oh what a cute baby." Now, without hesitation, the first comment I make is, "I'll bet you dollars for doughnuts that man right there watches porn." It is weird. I don't think I'll ever think "Oh what a cute baby" again.
OMG - thats exactly what I say (to myself) these days - it is so sad - I truly do hope it gets better! Thanks - ss
The Following User Says Thank You to soooosad For This Useful Post:
You know what else I've started noticing since all this began, not so much about how I look at men, but I notice how they look at me now, not something I really thought about before, but I sure as hell notice it now. I am not a flashy dresser, I like to keep my clothes very tame and comfy, but regaurdless they still look at me even though I have my husband at my arm like I'm there for there viewing pleasure. I'm not sure how all of you feel about this, but it just makes me sick, I've never had an urge to hit a stranger before but this is just gross. They even do it with women on there arms, just makes me think wow, he doesn't respect her or any other woman at all, and he probably thinks thats ok. Does anyone else get this feeling.
Love is the rhythm of two hearts beating
Poundin' out a message steady and true
Talk to me baby tell me what you're feelin'
I know what love is
What's it to you
FM says 9 out of 10 men look at porn etc. how many are "addicted"? I "know" it is part of their "make-up" but are all men really just pigs? And how would they feel if the roles were exactly reversed?
Quote:
Originally Posted by soooosad
and I was just looking at a site and the guys were saying it is perfectly normal - all guys do it - uugh!
ss
I don't feed into the "visual" cr*p. Com'n, we are ALL visual. I see food that looks really really good to me. If I eat everything I see that looks good, I'd have a serious problem, so I don't. I take a quick look, think, yum, that looks good, but I know better. I don't sit there salivating over it.
As far as roles reversed, read below. Also, I asked my boyfriend how he would feel if I looked at and lusted after men all day that had "a little more than he did", if you know what I mean, and the answer was... "My guess would be that it wouldn't feel too good"
This is something I wrote elsewhere...
I think most men (not all) think porn is acceptable. They have a "Hey, we are men afterall!" attitude, and feel since they are not physically with someone, it souldn't be a problem. They feel they are visual beings. They feel women need to understand this and it's not that big a deal.
So therefore, I feel that since women are not as visual and need more of an emotional attachment, enjoy conversation, kindness, blah blah blah, that men should accept that.
So, with that being said, men want us to allow them to watch porn because they feel it is not cheating. I'd like to ask them then, since "we are women afterall", would it be okay for us to go online to seek out men in chat rooms, or to go on IM with, that everyday we could log on and talk to? Someone that can tell us how sexy and interesting we are, someone that can stimulate our minds to the point of arrousal, someone that can turn us on in ways a woman gets turned on. We wouldn't physically be with them, so wouldn't that be ok? "We are women afterall", and this is what we like.
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to still_angry For This Useful Post:
This reminded me of a an argument I had with my wife before I came to this site. My wife screamed at me asking how would I feel if she sat at the computer staring and MBing over pictures of men. I paused for a second and kind off just shrugged my shoulders and said i wouldnt mind. That shocked her. But deep down, its because i just know she loves me so much, and she loves me for me, so hence perhaps i didnt have that issue. But from what you have just said Still_angry, If my wife was on chat rooms and talking to men all the time and perhaps online sx, that is like getting into my wifes mind, That would kill me! yeah infact I would feel like I was being cheated on. Ouch, never thought of that before. 202 days in, and im still learning!
Thanks that post really did help me.
FM
__________________________________________________ ___ Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.Martin Luther King Jr
This reminded me of a an argument I had with my wife before I came to this site. My wife screamed at me asking how would I feel if she sat at the computer staring and MBing over pictures of men. I paused for a second and kind off just shrugged my shoulders and said i wouldnt mind. That shocked her. But deep down, its because i just know she loves me so much, and she loves me for me, so hence perhaps i didnt have that issue.
FM
Yes, but what if your wife did this almost daily and then did not want to have sex with you very often and said things that made you feel like she didn't thinK you were very attractive, and what if she rarely wanted to spend time with you and made excuses to be home alone instead of doing things with you and the family?
It is the big picture - it is not ALL about the P and M. And I really don't think even men would like it if the roles were exactly reversed - but then who knows?
And I LOVE still angrys (urr, how do you do 2 quotes?):
So, with that being said, men want us to allow them to watch porn because they feel it is not cheating. I'd like to ask them then, since "we are women afterall", would it be okay for us to go online to seek out men in chat rooms, or to go on IM with, that everyday we could log on and talk to? Someone that can tell us how sexy and interesting we are, someone that can stimulate our minds to the point of arrousal, someone that can turn us on in ways a woman gets turned on. We wouldn't physically be with them, so wouldn't that be ok? "We are women afterall", and this is what we like.
but even us women would probably feel that this was even worse - I don't know - just thinking and wondering - ss
Last edited by soooosad; 07-22-2008 at 01:19 PM.
Reason: sp
07-19-2008, 09:51 AM
Linear Mode
