What are warning signs that your partner might be addicted to porn?

[admin]

For the Partners...help us draft this important article for new visitors to the site. Currently our Partner article section is severely lacking, and this is an important one. Please reply with your comments and ideas, they may be used verbatim on the site and you will get full credit for your contributions!

[jasmine]

1. You are always the one to initiate sex. Pornography distorts a man's sex drive, often leading him away from normal sex. Use your intuition. If something seems abnormal or different about your partner's sexual performance, then it is reasonable to be suspicious. In my experience, I noticed, at times, an enormous gap in our sex life, where it seemed that I was always the initiator, and sex was much less frequent than usual. However, sex drive is frustratingly variable for everyone, so again, use your intuition.

2. Erectile dysfunction is not uncommon among pornography addicts. Even pornography addicts that are relatively young may experience these difficulties. Pornography trains men to reach sexual climax differently than normal sex, and after a while, they become desensitized to normal stimulation.

3. Frequently deleted browsing or internet history. There is being safe with sensitive information... and then there is being addicted to pornography. If, every so often, you notice he has cleared his history, ask yourself why. Many people clear their private data to protect sensitive information, but only so often. Frequent cleared history, or software that clears data, is a major red flag.

[Farmer]

1. You are always the one to initiate sex. Pornography distorts a man's sex drive, often leading him away from normal sex. Use your intuition. If something seems abnormal or different about your partner's sexual performance, then it is reasonable to be suspicious. In my experience, I noticed, at times, an enormous gap in our sex life, where it seemed that I was always the initiator, and sex was much less frequent than usual. However, sex drive is frustratingly variable for everyone, so again, use your intuition.

2. Erectile dysfunction is not uncommon among pornography addicts. Even pornography addicts that are relatively young may experience these difficulties. Pornography trains men to reach sexual climax differently than normal sex, and after a while, they become desensitized to normal stimulation.

Well said Jasmine. Points 1 & 2 hit home with me. I would add anger and being defensive for no valid or apparent reason.

Farmer

[FoolishMind]

Jasmine has highlighted the most significant trends of a PA.

However, even without all these, A wife, mother and long term partner of a PA, will have that gut feeling when something just isnt right! Trust your gut.

[ShannonErin]

well said jasmine well said but in my situation the porn was never hid until i admitted there was an issue about it, then came the little things i picked up on like everytime hed come over hed click a song to play over the porn on his winamp player, and it was always played the morning of the day he was supposed to come over.

[stingerD39]

1. Adjusting sleep schedule to stay up late at night (taking naps during the day), especially if he/she knows that the partner will be asleep later in the evening.

2. Found asleep the next morning near/on the computer.

3. Continuously downloading files

4. Constantly 'dumping' the computer because of viruses and/or worms attacking the system.

5. Moodiness

6. Skipping basic responsibilites (eating meals, running errands, etc.) to stay online

7. Having multiple email accounts on chat (maybe)

[heartache31]

There is looking and admiring women, then there is perving, gawking, visualising...
this happens when the man has to look possibly three to five times towards that female.

No affection, or desire towards you.

[Glass_of_water]

Jasmine, your three points are the three things that should have alerted me earlier. They were all present, I just didn't listen to my gut like FM said.

My gut told me early on, and I didn't listen, even with all the three points Jasmine raised occurring, I still didn't listen to my gut.

I didn't actually face what was going on until my husband slipped up and I found evidence on his computer.

[stingerD39]

Wow!!! Oh Boy!!!

[diamondtears]

Hi, I am new here. Here are a couple problems I see with this problem: 1) He says I am holding back (and I say, "for what???") He also has a very clinical approach to sex. He looks at me when he thinks he is trying to turn me on like he looks at his car when he fixes it. This is such a sad problem.