What are warning signs that your partner might be addicted to porn?

[Daniel]

As a recovering PA and seeing your desire to understand your SO's situations, and really wanting to defeat P anywhere and everywhere, here are the things I used to do in order to continue to view online P:
1. arrange the situations such that I will be alone with my own laptop, usually at home. Wife gone, kids gone, perfect.
2. used the Windows User Controls to set up a Guest account (which started innocently enough) but then realized that the P activity could be done on the Guest account (and erased within the guest account).
3. used thumb drives to keep my P stash on. Though I never kept anything more than a day due to intense guilt, I used the devices to ferry the material around sometimes.
4. rarely used but probably more oft happens: "Honey, I need to work tonight on [some big project] and need privacy." If I was in my addiction, this kind of environment would be extremely tempting.
5. your favorite shopping sites don't recognize you because SO has deleted all the cookies to erase his browsing. Realize cookies and history are erased separately or together but when they go everything is thrown away.
6. getting up early/staying up late to get time alone with the PC.
7. excessive late nights/weekends at work, which may or may not be due to his surfing for P at work. Different companies have different ways of monitoring their networks.
8. business trips: the worst in my mind: unbridled access to P. as most hotels offer a broadband connection for free or cheap. Trips left me an emotional wreck which I carefully concealed from everyone.

I have been P free for 139 days and they have been the happiest most fulfilling days of my life. My wife and I are both healing nicely (thank God), our marriage is stronger than ever.

I am still ashamed of these old ways I used to do. I post them here so you may use them to get your life back to the ideal you always wanted.

Daniel

[Abbie]

Daniel, thanks for sharing, I can guess how difficult - and probably embarrassing - that would have been for you to relive whilst posting.

It's great that we can all share and learn, sorry that sounds cheesy, but it's so true.

[Moonbeamtag]

My SO, after finding that I have become a member of this, and another forum over his PA ( which he doesn't think he has ) became quite angry with me. He explained that the reason that he used p and MB was because our morning sex wasn't "totally fullfilling to him " ( he did reach an orgasm ) But, within a few hours when I left the house he watched p movies on the net with MB ...which DID fullfill him. He thinks I am over-reacting to something which is very normal on his part, and tells me that after watching p movies ( for stimulation ) he fantasizes about me. Does his statements make sense to anyone else out there....or am I going crazy. By the way, he thinks I need to get help for this problem I have !!!!

Oh, just so you know how I found out about what was going on..I had a gut feeling, and checked the computer. But before I did that...I asked him if he had been watchig p online, and he told me no. So...he lied, again !

Well, thanks for listening and any input that you can offer.

Take care,
Moon:((

[Daniel]

MBT,

Lies, deceit, rationalization, denial, excuses, reverse-accusations, social engineering.

Yes, he has an issue with P & MB. One opinion.

My experience tells me this is the tip of the iceberg.

Continue to read around the site, particularly the PA's Journals and the SO's Journals.

Learn Up, knowledge is power.

I am sorry you're in this state but the journey out may have just begun.

Peace,

Daniel

[Moonbeamtag]

How about this one.... AFTER we have sex. He masturbates to p flicks on the internet. He has told me that the sex he had with me wasn't TOTALLY satisfying.... What the heck is that about...? He seemed to have enjoyed it. I am very confused, hurt, and angry.

[Moonbeamtag]

Thank you Daniel... I appreciate the response, and I have found this site to be very informative. I am not going to give it up over his anger, and fear that I'll learn. Bless you.

[Newman]

1. Unexplained or poorly explained absences from home or family activities.

2. Difficulty appropriately expressing emotions/feelings.

3. Extended periods (hours/days) without contact with wife/SO while on business trips.

4. Introversion, social awkwardness,

5. Difficulty engaging in more than surface conversation with wife/SO

just to name a few that I've seen

[Charly22]

Moon, I believe his response is a way to deflect the responbility of owning up to the problem or addiction.

[Moonbeamtag]

Well, at the moment he isn't speaking to me. He has been locked in silent mode all day since we had a discussion earlier. He absolutely refuses to come to this site to just look around. I have told him...there is no harm in looking at the site, if it's hogwash...then don't worry about it. No harm done, but if you see things that you can relate to...it could be a good thing for us ! Well, he is very unhappy that I am here. I'm a pretty upfront and honest person, so I refuse to hide the fact that I'm here from him....if it feels uncomfortable to him, well, so be it. I have felt a little uncomfortable myself lately.

I am considering getting some books...again, I'm sure that will cause friction, but I am really at the point that I feel damned if I do, and damned if I don't.

My gosh....all I want is a normal life, normal s.., and INTIMACY with him.

Oh...He's also upset that I haven't done anything around the house in a few days. I'm suppose to feel like Betty Crocker at the moment ?

[apachedove]

Moon,

Same with me! When mine walks in the house after work, he expects the house clean and a big meal. He sits in front of the pc to eat his meals, I'm at the table alone. ^:)^

I have seen the evidence on towels what the porn does for him, or he runs off to the bathroom. Not much contact between the 2 of us anymore, and when there is he doesn't have an orgasm, he needs to hit the porn to have one. He might spend 5 minutes with me but a few hours with the porn. Wow do I feel good! NOT

Comes down to the fact don't know if I should take a hammer to the pc or his head to knock some smarts into him.:-?

No use in me trying to talk about what he's doing I tried many times. All that happens is fighting and he tells me I'm crazy. Also he just lies and says he's not lookking at porn. So I say let him rot his brain out, by now should be about 1 brain cell left after all these years of porn.

Whats next glasses?????? :|